I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“I want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash.”
“How old were you when you learned that the game TAG stands for ‘Touch and Go’?
I was today years old…”
“I don’t mean to brag but I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 12 minutes.”
"Don't count all your chickens
before they cross the road."
“Calvin:
I’m at peace with the world. I’m completely serene.
Hobbes:
Why is that?
Calvin:
I discovered my purpose in life. I know why I was put here and why everything exists.
Hobbes:
Oh really?
Calvin:
Yes, I am here so everybody can do what I want.
Hobbes:
It’s nice to have that cleared up.
Calvin:
Once everyone accepts it, they’ll be serene too.”
🙂
"I just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet,
to see which one comes first...
I'll keep you posted."
“Love is an inside job.”
"I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open
looking for answers."
"That sounds really fun,
but I'm going to be busy
doing not that."
"I'd rather take coffee than compliments right now."
"I don't understand why judges get paid so much,
others judge me for free."
"The worst part about parallel parking
is the witnesses."
"You will meet 10 types of moms at your kid's school.
I'm currently avoiding 8 of them."
"The best part of waking up...
is still a mystery for me."
"Starting tomorrow,
whatever life throws at me,
I'm ducking
so it hits someone else."
"Do it tomorrow.
You've made enough mistakes for today."
"Life has its ups and downs.
We call them squats."
"It's so nice to relax
after walking on eggshells for so long."
"Modesty is just one of my fantastic attributes!"
A pharmacy.
Lots of vegetables and fruits on the shelves.
A pharmacist gives lettuce to the customer:
"Take one a day with tomato and cucumber."
🙂
"The most stable thing in my life is
my breakfast routine."
"That's what friends
are spore."
"I don't really have a plan.
I really solely on caffeine and weirdness
to get me through the day."
“You can do it”
– Coffee.
"People cheating on their taxes disgust me.
This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependents in..."
"There is no better feeling than
someone playing with your hair or running their fingers down your back.
Unless you thought you were alone."
"Inhale
Exhale
=
How you'll get through it."
“A banana has 105 calories.
A shot of whiskey has 80 calories.
Choose wisely.”