I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
"Relax. No one else knows what they’re doing either."
"If you listen carefully,
you can hear Monday sharpening its claws."
"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it."
"I wish there was something between coffee and cocaine."
Me: Is it weird to talk to yourself?
Also me: No.
"I've tried yoga, but I find stress less boring."
"I adore spontaneity,
provided it is carefully planned."
And by sweet "tooth" I mean
"teeth". All of them.
"Friends don't tell friends
that 1980
was 40 years ago."
"Shout out to all
the junk
I haven't bought yet...
I'm coming for ya..."
"I went to the paint store to get thinner...
It didn't work."
"The older I get
the more I understand why
roosters scream to start their day."
"I've decided not to be pessimistic.
It wouldn't work anyway."
"How soon after waking up is it OK to take a nap?"
“Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you’d like to lose 1/2 pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.”
“Stress relief techniques include meditation, deep breathing and visualization of chocolate bars.”
“Doctor:
You don’t need a colonoscopy, but I’m sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don’t like you.”
“Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”
“Say no to hatred.
Say yes to pancakes.”
“There is no remedy for pancakes but to pancake more.”
“Is it even called a brunch without ordering pancakes?”
“Life’s batter with pancakes!”
“cozy + smell of pancakes - alarm clock = weekend”
“I’m going to have pancakes with a side of pancakes.”
“I’m terrible at telling pancake jokes,
but I’m getting batter.”
"A brilliant idea just crêped up on me.
I'll have another pancake!"
Went to a pancake restaurant, and asked if my dinner would be long.
"No, sir, round," came the reply.
"Happiness is temporary.
Death is forever.
Have a nice weekend."
"You can't do it.
Go back to bed."