I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Always believe
that something wonderful will probably never happen."
"Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take,
but by how many likes you get on your post."
"It's never too late to fail."
"Every day is another chance
to screw everything up again."
"What doesn't kill you
slowly makes you
weaker until you die."
"Everything is
stupid and we
are all going to
die soon."
“Try & try until you cannot succeed.”
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.”
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.”
“May your bacon be crispy and your Monday be short.”
"A dating website matched me up with bacon."
"My son started playing that annoying game where he copies everything I do and say; so I brushed my teeth, folded some towels and cleaned up some toys. Follow me for more tips."
"Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school's lost and found section."
"The most important thing I've learned in life,
and I can't stress this enough:
you gotta make a salad in a bigger
bowl than you think."
"So much of being an adult
is just not clicking the 'Send' button."
"My wife and I have been reviewing our finances
and determined we need a sugar daddy."
"I don't know about y'all, but I don't have any more passwords left in me."
"DATING:
I can't believe we have so much in common.
MARRIAGE:
Please don't watch your stuff under my Netflix profile."
January 1st: "THIS is my year!!!"
May 1st: "Emmmm..."
“When the going gets tough,
the tough gets tougher.”
“The worst things in your life probably haven’t happened to you yet.”
“It is what it is.
And it’s not good.”
“I wonder if you look both ways
before getting on my nerves.”
“No matter what you’re going through, always try and help people.
Instead of saying, ‘F***k off’, ask, ‘How can I help you to f***k off?’
Be kind.”
“TEIAM — problem solved.”
"You make me a better person of interest."
"I wonder what the part of my brain, that used to store telephone numbers, is doing nowadays."
"Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to baggage claim. Then it’s like take whatever bag you want."
"My wife and I are very competitive. We laugh about it, but I laugh more."
"Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing the wrong crap for years until the truth destroyed us."