Follow
Share
Read More
🙂

"I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy I can't even close my suitcase!"
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

"Is it just me, or does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore?"
(1)
Report

🙂

"People who say 'I hate to bother you' need to learn to hate it a little bit more."
(0)
Report

🙂

"How many instruments must you be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?"
(2)
Report

😉

"Don't worry password,
I'm insecure too."
(2)
Report

My wife thought our kids were spoiled but I think most kids smell like that
(7)
Report

❤️🙂 slogans athletes wore on their t-shirts to psych their opponents out...

"Call 911. I'm on fire."

"Damn, I hope you're good at something."

"If I let you score, will you go home?"

"Do your parents love you?"

"Even my shadow can't stay with me."

"I'll be signing autographs after the game."

"You wait while I go score."

"Don't laugh at him, you're next."
(1)
Report

Stay away from negative people
They have a problem for every solution
(5)
Report

❤️🙂 i'm still taking a break from the internet, buttttttt i must post this. i wait all year to say this.

MAY the 4th be with you.
❤️🙂
(7)
Report

😑
(2)
Report

😀
(3)
Report

My friend thinks the English Channel is a cable station for the Brits
(5)
Report

What is the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-laws
(3)
Report

What should you give a man who has everything?

A wife. She tells him how everything works.
(2)
Report

If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
(4)
Report

Husband: I need space.

Wife: Join NASA
(2)
Report

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old for it.

Ann Bancroft
(4)
Report

I just bought my husband a ‘get better soon’ card. He’s not sick…I just think he can be better.
(3)
Report

“If you and I were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest…I can’t express how much I would miss you.”
(2)
Report

My ex and I will have an amicable divorce. I know this because when I announced on Facebook, “I’m getting a divorce.” He was the first one to click Like.
(2)
Report

A man goes to see the rabbi.

Man: “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”

Rabbi: “What’s wrong?”

Man: “My wife is poisoning me.”

Rabbi: “How can that be?”

Man: “I am certain that she is poisoning me. What should I do?”

Rabbi: “Let me talk to her, I will see what I can do and get back to you.”

The rabbi called the man a week later.

Rabbi: “Well, I spoke to your wife for three hours on the phone. Do you want my advice?”

Man: “Yes.”

Rabbi, “Take the poison!”
(4)
Report

A priest, a nun and a rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”
(2)
Report

An old Jewish man is taken ill with the flu

Wife: “Can I do anything to help?”

Man: “Yes, Call a priest.”

Wife: “A priest? But we are Jewish!”

Man: “What, I should get the rabbi sick too.”
(2)
Report

Those are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights!
(4)
Report

You know it’s time to retire when your coworkers are wearing clothing styles from your youth and calling it retro.
(3)
Report

Retirement is what happens between doctor appointments.
(2)
Report

Retirement is like one long sick day without pay.
(2)
Report

With age comes wisdom…and hair in really weird places.
(5)
Report

Don’t let aging get you down, it’s hard to get back up again!
(5)
Report

If only the good die young, you may live forever!
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter