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We’ll be friends until we are old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends.
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You’re so old that you get status updates from your friends in the obituaries.
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.

Lucille Ball
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How many Lowe's could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's?
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The sun will set 45 minutes earlier now.

There is a new house across the street.
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Thanks NHWM for your contributions.
Sometimes, I start to worry about what I find funny.
You did great, but when is BOJ coming back? Lol.


This is not funny, but I might worry if it was funny:
There are grains in this trader joe's chewy granola bar. Oats, Millet, Quinoa, Amaranth, Buckwheat and dark chocolate chunks. Maybe my parakeet would enjoy it more. The millet is exactly what my bird eats!

Ever see those left-over dead bugs in some grains? I mean, how could you tell?
Just say'in.
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Hey, I tried! LOL 😆

I love Trader Joe’s! You’re right though, the grains could be camouflaged! 🤣

My daughters ate the insects on their school field trip to the insectarium. Great source of protein! 😊
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NHWM,
I am still laughing at what you wrote.

Many of my elders and friends are actually already in the obits.
Not that it is funny, I did not mean that.

I was just wondering, if instead of checking in with my doctor, I should be checking the obituaries to see if I am ok.

I did have a question for you. I just cannot remember what it is. Not funny!
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Eat bugs and die!
"They" call it entomophagy.
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I’m trying to remember the bugs that my daughters ate on their trip to the insectarium. I think they were chocolate covered ants or beetles. Something like that.

My youngest daughter freaks out when she sees spiders.
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NHWM.
Recall about the time you had said your email might have been hacked or spammed? And maybe you had experienced identity theft? Did I get that right, in March?

About that same time, I received multiple emails in my spam folder, saying my order went thru paypal, over $800, and others.
Today, that happened again to my emails. I did not open them.

My dH hovers the cursor over the post, and the true sender pops up without opening the email, so we are safe.

That was my question. Were you hacked back then?
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Send,

Yes, awhile back I did have my email hacked. I had to go to the police and report identity theft because someone took out a loan in my name. It was one of those overnight loans that they were able to do online. I ended up freezing my credit with all three bureaus.

Don’t open them! I never click on anything.

Identify theft is so common. The detective that worked my case told me that he had numerous officers at their desks working on these cases all day long. He said that identity theft can happen to anyone. Nothing is private online.
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“Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!”
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Anyone have some aging jokes?

I like this one:

"My mind thinks I am 25, but my body thinks I am an idiot".
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I started out feeling bold then I lost my "B"
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Under the heading, Enter at your own risk.....

Threw out my back sleeping.
Tweaked my neck sneezing.
I swear I am one strong fart from total paralysis.

The last time I sprang into action was when my recliner broke.
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Three of the hardest things for people to say.....
I was wrong.
I need help.
And Worcestershire Sauce.
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Aging joke.
I friend of my father who was in his 90’s at the time used to say , “ I never buy green bananas because I may never get to eat them. “
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Texting by old people:

BFF Best Friend Fainted

BYOT Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM Covered By Medicare

LMDO Laughing My Dentures Out

FWB Friend With Beta-blockers

GGPBL Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery
Low
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At my age, the only pole dancing I do is while holding on to the safety bar in the bathtub.
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Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time!
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😉

"I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently, because I didn't open the car door for her. Instead, I just swam to the surface."
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😇

"Life is so boring when you don't have an online order to look forward to."
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❤️

"Due to personal reasons...
I'm ready to turn things up a notch."
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😉

"If you don't look back on your younger self and say, 'I used to be stupid,' you're probably still stupid."
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😇

"Killing people with kindness apparently isn't working...
I'll going to try voodoo."
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❤️🙂

"I'm not dating to marry.
I'm dating to experience a painful break-up that kick-starts my weight loss."
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❤️🙂

"Friend:
OMG, I LOVE your lip gloss. What is it?

Me:
It's pizza grease."
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❤️🙂

"When you've been eating healthy for the past 15 minutes
and STILL see no progress."
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❤️🙂

"When you decide to have a cheat meal, and all of a sudden it's 3 years later."
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