I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Why can't I be comforted by carrots? Why does it have to be chocolate and donuts?"
"Dear Colgate,
Now that you have added salt and lemon,
let us know when you add tequila,
so we can brush 6 times a day."
"I plan to be spontaneous tomorrow."
"Never sign up for a class called 'Boot Camp'!
It has nothing to do with shoe shopping!"
"Why do we feel safer under blankets?
It's not like a murderer will come in thinking,
'I'm gonna ki -- ...ah damn! She's under a blanket!'"
"I'm not saying you're stupid.
I'm just saying you've got bad luck
when it comes to thinking."
"Boys will never understand
the struggle of long hair & lip gloss
on a windy day."
"Sometimes the weight you need to lose
isn't on your body."
“Never mind beauty sleep.
I want skinny sleep.”
"Whenever I'm feeling fat, I try not to stress about it
and just keep my chins up."
"If alcohol kills germs
and laughter is the best medicine,
I'm the healthiest person on the planet."
“Desperate times called,
they want their desperate measures back.”
“You know you’re desperate for an answer…
when you look at the second page of google.”
“In desperate need of a full body massage, $1 million and a trip to the Bahamas.”
SEX!!!!!!
Now that I’ve got your attention…
SMILE and have the best day possible…
❤️🙂
"It's not my fault that I forget to floss.
My wisdom teeth aren't as smart as yours!"
“If you don’t start out the day with a smile, it’s not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.”
“Smile – sunshine is good for your teeth.”
“I’m fat but identify as skinny.
I’m trans-slender.”
“I want something to moti-weight me.”
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
“Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.”
“A black cat is more efficient than a red light.”
“My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die…
But my stubborn fat cells seem to have eternal life.”
“There is no
chocoholics anonymous
because no one wants to quit.”
“Stress wouldn’t be so hard to take if it was covered in delicious chocolate.”
“I’m the type of person who would thrive in solitary confinement.”