I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"When you're fatigued because of your depression
but can't sleep because of your anxiety."
"You are what you eat."
I don't remember eating anxiety and back pain, but okay.
"If I was accidentally weird to you once
just know I will be thinking about it every night
for the next 50 years."
"Next week has been exhausting."
"Short answer: no. Long answer: noooooooooo."
"Which essential oil is best for
getting people to stop talking to you?"
"My 5-year plan
is to make it through this year."
"We DO NOT throw away perfectly good food in this house.
We put the left-overs in Tupperware,
put the Tupperware in the fridge,
let it go bad, THEN throw it out."
"When you gotta delete your post
because you're just not the same
person you were 6 minutes ago."
"I'm really a very pleasant person to be around,
unless I'm hungry, tired, hot, cold, thirsty, anxious, or dealing with idiots."
"When I offer you food, it's only because I was raised right.
As my friend, please read the truth in my eyes and politely decline."
"Me yelling at squirrels in the street to move so they don't die
is probably the same feeling God has watching me live my life most days."
I'm gonna have a positive attitude today.
*me 5 minutes into the day*
I have contained my rage for as long as possible.
"I need at least 70 days notice to do something."
"I heard the government is putting chips inside of people.
I hope I get Doritos."
"I hate it when I have finally have the laundry caught up,
then I see my family walking around in clothes."
"HR:
Did you call an employee stupid?
Me:
No, I asked if he was stupid."
"That depressing moment when
you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off,
and you wonder why bad things happen to good people."
"Having thick thighs means
you can hold more puppies on your lap,
so who's the real winner here?"
"You seem to be on your own path.
Unfortunately, there's a 'socio' in front of it."
And now for my next trick
*waves hand*
I'll turn my stress and anxiety into body fat.
"I had a date last night.
I really enjoyed it.
So tonight I'm going to
try a fig."
"Raise your hand if
you try to breathe quieter
while walking up a hill
so bystanders don't
hear you fighting for
your life."
"I need one of those Kim Kardashian jobs
where they pay me to exist."
"I'm naturally irritated when I first wake up.
You just have to give me a few days to adjust."
"Be patient with me, I'm somewhere between
losing my mind and finding my soul. 🦋"
"My stress stresses me out
to the point that I'm too stressed to deal with the stress."