I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"I need a break from my own thoughts."
"Note to self:
Double up on the happy pills for a week."
"Well, That Didn't Work"
--an autobiography
"I don't wanna
taco 'bout it."
"55 smiles per hour."
Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, "See? This is why I chew the furniture."
"You're incredibly mature for your age."
First of all, I'm traumatized.
"Sometimes I feel like I have my life together
and then I'm like
wow
that was a really nice 45 seconds."
"Temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance."
“I should get up.
…But I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong.”
"That awkward moment between birth and death."
"I just want to let you know
that if you ever need to have a plant killed,
I'm the person for that job."
"Everything in life should be done in moderation.
For example, when you buy a large cake, don't necessarily eat it in one sitting.
Rather, eat half, have a nap, then eat the other half..."
"Happiness is
...doing nothing
and then resting afterwards."
"Look officer, I'm not being a wise guy.
All I'm saying is, if you caught me then you were speeding too."
"If I'm ever murdered,
feel comfort in knowing that
I ran my mouth until the bitter end."
"What do we learn from
cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It's impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking."
"Remember when you thought this year was going to be better than last year?"
This is the joke below:
I was forced to go to a positive-thinking seminar. I couldn't stand it. So I went outside to the parking lot and let half the air out of everyone's tires. As they came out I said, "So, are your tires half-full, or half-empty?"
That's how I ran into the door..
I asked, "Why?"
He said, "My dog died."
Wish list:
--Peace of mind.
"I had a better social life when I was like 8 years old
than I do now."
"I moved past having a depressive episode.
I'm actually having a depressive series
haha
season 8 available now."
"Him:
Wow look at you trying to be romantic with all these candles.
Me:
First of all, I'm about to sacrifice you."
🙂
"I'm not saying you're stupid.
I'm just saying you have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
"It's very rude to talk
when I am interrupting."
"What ended in 1945?
1944."
"It's not that I'm immature.
It's just that you started it."