I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Your fear of looking stupid
is wasting too much time."
"Title of book:
How to Avoid Everything
--Irresponsibility Made Easy"
"Nothing messes up your Friday more
than realizing it's Tuesday."
"Dentist (noun):
Similar to parents, but they criticize your teeth instead of your lifestyle."
"Flashlight (noun):
A container for dead batteries."
"Morning (noun):
The time when the bed has more gravity."
"Procrastinate (verb):
What you are doing right now. Get going and finish what you need to do."
"Junk (noun):
Something you keep for years and then throw away one week before you need it."
"Cupcake (noun):
A muffin with low self-esteem."
"Dry Clean Only (adjective):
This will never get washed. Ever."
"At least it can't get any worse (phrase):
What you say to challenge the universe into making your day even more terrible than it already is."
"Hungry (adjective):
Something that only happens after brushing your teeth."
"Going to bed (phrase):
Shutting down laptop and using your phone in bed."
"I'm 300% done with today
and like 68% done with tomorrow already."
"K."
Well, potassium to you too.
"Well, after just a week at home, I've come up with a comprehensive list on how to do things more efficiently around here, honey"
It is a great skill to have that translates into other abilities behind the wheel. (Parallel parking, not valet. :-) I am a firm believer that everyone should know where the perimeters of their vehicle are and parallel parking makes you know.
I learned to drive in a long station wagon .
Glad I did, I can drive big rigs because of my driving trials in that monster of a car.
Your dad did right by you, we are operating lethal weapons after all, we should know where every part is.
My DH is terrible at parallel parking. He uses valets or finds parking garages in cities .
One big difference between men and women
is that if a woman says, “Smell this!”, it actually smells NICE.
How to please a woman:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her jewelry
Be interested in what she has to say…
How to please a man:
Show up naked.
Bring beer.
“A man without a woman is a bachelor. A woman without a man is a genius.”
“Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.”
Ten tickles.