I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"I woke up tired about 3 years ago and I have never really recovered since."
“Anyone else reach that age where you gain weight if you breathe?"
“Often times I put my career in two segments, B.C. and A.D. -
before children and after diapers."
"Lawyer (noun):
a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a 'brief'."
"Future lawyer (noun):
already argues like one,
soon you'll get paid for it."
"I may have Alzheimer's
but at least I don't have Alzheimer's."
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side."
"A very unhappy, elderly person at the doctor's office.
Doctor:
Remember those extra 20 years you added to your life through clean, healthy living? - Well, these are them."
"I'm not prejudiced; I hate everyone equally."
"What time do you have to be back in heaven?"
"I wanted to do panic buying, I checked my account...I can only panic."
"Cat:
I sleep with one paw out. You may kiss it as a sign of your allegiance and subordination to me."
"I've got two wonderful children -
and two out of five isn't so bad."
"Addicted to all the wrong things."
"A man peacefully sleeping in bed.
Cat:
Is he dead?
I better walk on his face and find out."
“Feeling a little sick.
Better look up my symptoms online.
I have brain cancer.”
“I started the day with lots of problems.
But now, after hours and hours of work,
I have lots of problems in a spreadsheet.”
“Fries or salad?”
Sums up every adult decision you have to make.
List of things I'm handling well currently.
1.
Cat holding up a sign:
"Friends don't let friends get a DOG!"
"Keep calm
&
meow on."
"Let's face it,
I was crazy
before the cats."
We are not all bad.
Just badly misinformed about how good we are.
"Man to a woman:
Forget the past, you can't change it.
Forget the present, I didn't get you one."
"The window today.
That's enough social interaction."
"It's not that I don't like you...
Oh wait, yes, yes it is."
"I can't have kids,
my cat is allergic."
“Cats never listen. They’re dependable that way; when Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time.”
Dad said, "No, just a bunch of bills."
The son asked, "Who's Bill?"
“Looks like I’m thinking,
but really it’s allergies.”