I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
First one from Gary Larson, USA: Kangaroo to co-jumper: “Just jump, you fool. No need to shout Boing Boing Boing!”
Second one from an English 19c romantic novel, looking for down-under color: “They sat quietly in the shade of the gum trees, listening to the low moaning of the kangaroos”. (Kangaroos don’t make any noise at all, but when we have them just outside the window of the farm sunroom, we always try to pick the “low moaning”. No success so far)
"If you're feeling a sudden calm,
it's because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic
on a grassy hill.
You're welcome."
"A worm is a pretty disappointing prize
for getting up early if you ask me."
"Them: I'll see you in h*ll!
Me: Call first. No pop-ins."
"I don't understand why you pay a shrink.
I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free."
"Just did a Tupperware inventory.
17 round containers. 2 square lids."
"Most of my decisions are loosely based on
whether or not it's illegal or merely frowned upon."
"As the days go by, I think about how lucky I am...
that you're not here to ruin it for me."
"Don't be condescending.
(That's when you talk down to people.)"
In retrospect, that was stupid.
--The working title of my memoir.
"I'm glad you're learning to laugh at yourself.
That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us."
"If you're having a bad day just remember that
someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper."
"Be good to your spouse,
remember right now they could poison you
and it would be counted as a covid death."
Grunt, creak, groan, crack, crik, wheeze, snuck, ugh, pop, snap, oof, sigh, crack.
(The soundtrack of aging.)
ATTENTION:
Due to recent setbacks, my summer beach body will be postponed another year. As usual your patience is appreciated…
"Got my 1st date of the year already lined up!
I mean it's a court date
but it's still a date and I'm dressing up."
"Someday I'll behave myself,
maybe one day next week,
we'll see how it goes."
"My son just showed me something he made and asked,
'Do you like it, or do you love it?'
and those are the only options I'm giving people from now on."
"I just read the top 100 things to do before you die
and was surprised that
YELL FOR HELP
wasn't one of them."
I would like to get my smart watch to read 8 hrs. of sleep, instead of 3.
zzzzzzzz
zz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz !
"Arrogance and stupidity all in one package.
How efficient of you."
"Your pre-sneeze face freaks me out."
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have little anty bodies.
"I'm having one of those days
that's not a Saturday."
"I have seen the village and I don't want it raising my children."
"Just spent 45 minutes on the treadmill...
Tomorrow my goal is to turn it on."
"I think the real reason this generation is so angry
is because their music sucks."