Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
We used to laugh at comedians and listen to politicians.

Now we laugh at politicians and listen to comedians.
(3)
Report

Life is like diarrhea…

The crap just keeps on coming
(1)
Report

Bathroom Signs:

Ladies:

Please stay seated for the entire performance.

Gentlemen:

Aim well
Stand closer
It’s shorter than you think
(1)
Report

Bathroom Signs:

Men, please put the toilet seat down when you’re done.

Thank you,

The Women


Ladies, you are strong, independent women who don’t need to man to put the toilet seat down for you. You got this!

The men
(1)
Report

🤓

People who like to one-up...

"If you broke your nose in Timbuktu, they broke two of their noses in Timbukthree."
(2)
Report

The woman who claims to understand men is either a psychiatrist or needs one.
(3)
Report

What doesn’t kill you…

Gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a sick sense of humor
(2)
Report

My guess is that you haven’t been diagnosed yet.
(2)
Report

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…

Ain’t no borderline, psychotic emotional outburst either
(1)
Report

All I ask for in life is for my children to be successful enough to pay for their own therapy when they grow up.
(2)
Report

I use to have super powers but my psychiatrist took them away.
(1)
Report

I do yoga to relieve stress…

Just kidding, I read books in my yoga pants
(1)
Report

When I told you that I was normal, I may have exaggerated slightly.
(3)
Report

The main ingredient in hand sanitizer is paranoia.
(3)
Report

Please don’t take my silence as agreement to your rants.

I just prefer to watch your craziness in silence.
(1)
Report

Don’t take like too seriously because you’ll never get out alive.
(1)
Report

Truth is, I am not being sarcastic. I am just a funny person who is surrounded by idiots.
(1)
Report

On our way to church, we asked our grandchild why is it important to be quiet in church. She said "Because there are people sleeping!"
(4)
Report

I may not be Wonder Woman but I can do things that will make you WONDER!
(3)
Report

❤️

"Do you ever wonder what people who caused the product warning labels are like?"
(3)
Report

❤️

"I don't need a stress ball.
I need a stress bat."
(3)
Report

😉

"I asked Alexa, what do women want?
It hasn't shut up for nine days."
(3)
Report

😉

"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller."
(1)
Report

🤓🤓

"Tomorrow's a new day
and another chance
to mess things up just a little bit differently."
(3)
Report

❤️

"If you see someone over 40 out in public after 9 pm,
they 100% took a nap earlier in the day..."
(2)
Report

😉

"I don't argue with the world.
The world argues with me."
(0)
Report

😉

"On occasion, you should introduce the upper lip
to the lower lip, the result
is absolutely amazing."
(1)
Report

🤓🤓

"If by 'crunches' you mean
the sound bacon makes when you eat it,
then yes I do crunches."
(3)
Report

🤓

"Taco EMERGENCY.
Call 9 Juan Juan."
(2)
Report

🤓

"Why am I
the only naked person
at this gender reveal party?"
(4)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter