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🙂🙂

"There are approximately 1,010,300 words
in the English language but I could never
string enough of them together
to properly express
how much I want to hit
you with a chair."
(0)
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❤️

"Everyone preaches
body acceptance
until you show up naked
at the company picnic."
(3)
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❤️

"Maybe if everybody eats a snickers bar today
the world would CALM DOWN."
(1)
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❤️

"Fun fact about me:
the drunker I get, the more karate I know."
(1)
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🙂🙂

"I'm not interrupting you
if I wasn't listening in the first place."
(4)
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🙄

"It's raining idiots
everywhere."
(1)
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🙂🙂

"If I'm ever murdered, it will be
because I said something
absolutely perfect to someone
with no sense of humour."
(1)
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🙂🙂

"I'd appreciate it
if you'd stop interrupting me
while I'm ignoring you."
(0)
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😉

"Oh wow!! You're really gonna fight me over the internet?
What's the worst you can do, caps-lock me to death?"
(2)
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❤️🙄

“Man stranded on a desert island. He’s holding a stick, pointing it at the sand, and completely confused what to write. An airplane is hovering above.

Man:
Dang! Heck of a time to get writer’s block!”
(2)
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🤓🌸

“Writing is 90% procrastination
and 30% panic.”
(2)
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😬🏖😇🥺

“A day can really slip by
when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.”
(2)
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🤪

“Things I don’t feel like doing today:
moving.”
(2)
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😜🥺🤯

“The task I must undertake is towering over me like a great big monolith.

It is too big to contemplate. So I think I will go and have a little look at the internet.”
🙂🙂
(2)
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🤯

“Overthinking and
also hungry.”
(1)
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😇

“Just give me
a second
to overthink this.”
(1)
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❤️

“I wonder if we
overthink
each other
at the same time.”
(0)
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🌸🌸🐻🐻 gooood morning :)

“How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, GO!”
(1)
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🌸🌸🐻🐻

“People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory.
My reply? ‘Just stuff.’”
(2)
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X: So tell me, what has been bothering you?
Y: Life.
(1)
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🤮

"I'm so grumpy,
I'm not even talking to myself!"
(2)
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🌸🌸🐶

"Dogs are friendly.
Humans may bite."
(1)
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🤮

"Seize the day,
then let it go."
(0)
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❤️🙂 haha, thanks for making me laugh MD
(2)
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❤️🙂🐈

"The more people I meet
the more I like my cat."
(1)
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😉😎🙄🤪

“Around here
normal is just a setting on the dryer.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

"Due to the recent coin shortage,
no one is allowed to put in their 2 cents anymore."
(4)
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❤️🙂🍫 breaking news...there might not be any free will, after all.
(apart from llamalover ❤️, who doesn't like chocolate)

"Does the notion of chocolate contradict the principle of free will?"
(1)
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❤️🙂🍫

"Research tells us that fourteen out of ten people love chocolate."
(1)
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❤️🙂🍫

"What is the meaning of life?
All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate."
(2)
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