Follow
Share
Read More
❤️🙂🍫

"There's more to life than chocolate, but not right now."
(3)
Report

🥰

"Sometimes, the 1st step towards forgiveness is realizing
the other person is totally crazy."
(5)
Report

❤️🙂

"Please kindly go away,
I'm introverting."
(1)
Report

Need money!
Not homeless!
Wife just keeps buying PLANTS
(4)
Report

❤️

"OK Murphy's Law,
you win.
I give up."
(1)
Report

🥺

"I am trying to be positive
but Murphy's Law keeps finding me."
(3)
Report

🙂🙂

"I will not sleep
until I find
a cure for my insomnia!!"
(2)
Report

🙂

"Man goes into the self-help section of a bookstore. He says to the clerk:
Sounds like a lot of work. Got any somebody-else-helps-me books?"
(4)
Report

🙂🙂

"My perfect morning:
I wake up, get out of bed,
get into a bigger,
warmer bed with no
alarm clock and
instantly fall asleep."
(1)
Report

😇

"I can admit when
you're wrong."
(2)
Report

😉

"That awkward moment
when someone you hate
is breathing."
(1)
Report

😉

"I'm sorry we fought.
I hate it when
you're wrong."
(2)
Report

🙂🙂

"Mood:
wanna sleep for 3 years."
(1)
Report

🤯 murphy's law...

"If you know something will go wrong
and you do everything possible to stop it from happening,
then something else will go wrong."
(0)
Report

😇😘

"He said there was no spark between us anymore.
So I tasered him!!!
I'll ask him again when he wakes up."
(2)
Report

😘

"As I do more laundry,
nudists seem less crazy."
(2)
Report

😘

"I hate it when you offer someone
a sincere compliment
on their mustache
and suddenly...

She's not your friend anymore."
(2)
Report

🙂🙂

"Never underestimate the stupidity
of idiots."
(1)
Report

🤯

"Congrats!!!
You've unlocked the next level of stupid."
(1)
Report

❤️

"I don't know why everybody hates lazy people,
we didn't even do anything."
(2)
Report

😉

"Make sure your worst enemy
is not living between your own two ears."
(3)
Report

😉

Hyphenated.
Non-hyphenated.
The irony.
(3)
Report

😉

"That awkward moment
between birth and death."
(2)
Report

😉

"That awkward moment
when Microsoft Word
informs you your name is spelt wrong."
(2)
Report

😉

"That awkward moment
when you sneeze, and no one says bless you."
(2)
Report

😉

"That awkward moment
when you leave a shop without buying anything
and all you can think is, 'Act natural,
you're innocent.'"
(4)
Report

😊😊

"The irony of all this is,
the internet was created to save us time."
(3)
Report

😊

"DO NOT TOUCH"

Must be one of the scariest things to read on Braille...
(3)
Report

😉

"Today, 2 year-olds can unlock an iphone,
open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.
When I was that age, I was eating dirt."
(2)
Report

😊😊

Hi,
I'm your brain. Do you hate this song? Yes?
Well, I don't care,
because I've memorized it and we'll be singing it
all day.
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter