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An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates of St. Peter. St Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer, you’re assigned to hell.”

The engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. The engineer becomes dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

Pretty soon they have air conditioning, escalators, elevators, flush toilets and more.

The engineer is a pretty popular guy!

God calls Satan on the telephone and says, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan says, “Everything is going great! We have air conditioning, elevators, escalator and flush toilets. There’s no telling what this engineer will come up with next!

God says, “What? You have an engineer down there. He should never have gone down there. Send him back immediately!”

Satan says, “No way! I like having an engineer on my staff.”

God says, “Send him back or I will sue!”

Satan says, “Yeah, right! Just where are you going to get a lawyer?”
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Engineer….I love it, Need!
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Sounhappy,

I am married to an engineer! I definitely giggle at this joke!
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My engineer DH loved it, and I’ve sent it to sister and directed it through the ether to deceased engineer BIL. But I just can't see the joke about lawyers. Surely all lawyers are models of rectitude?
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I will send this joke to my engineer son . 😂😂😂
I don’t think I should send it to my pompous lawyer brother . 🤔😬😬.
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Way,

Go ahead and send to your brother !😆
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Need,

I don’t want to tilt the scales of justice .
My brother has been more civil lately !
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Love the engineer joke!

Anyone got one on real estate agents? The ones I have been dealing with are lower than a snake's belly. I hope there is a special part of hell just for them.. 'great location, heating included, ready-made community'
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Here you go, Beatty

A real estate joke for you!

A real estate agent was standing at the crossroads when the devil appeared before him.

The devil told him, “I can make you the most successful agent in your brokerage. You will sell 200 homes next year if you sign a contract in blood. Give me your soul, your wife’s soul and your children’s soul for all eternity.”

The agent didn’t even skip a beat, before saying to the devil, “Wait a minute…what’s the catch?”
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Was driving with my little granddaughters yesterday. They just got over some viral thing and have lingering coughs.

I remarked that it sounded like a TB ward in the back of the minivan. Of course they do not have a clue what that is. The 8 year old finally piped up asking why would they be getting a TV award.

Just thought it was cute. Those little ones always put a smile on my face.
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Hothouse ,

Aww, that’s adorable !!
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HH,

Children are a breath of fresh air.
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HHF
Your story reminded me of one of my own. I asked a niece at about 6 or 7 if she wanted to make some money and help me straighten my house. I had two toddlers and I wanted to get their toys all organized. She said yes. She came over and we got busy and got a lot done. I suppose she was getting a little tired and she asked me ‘Aunt 97, when are we going to make that money?” 😳
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My ex wife’s cooking was cold and bland.

Clearly, she put her heart and soul into it.
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A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal cookies raisin cookies downstairs.

It takes all the strength he has to crawl down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the kitchen counter and staggers over to them.

As he reaches for one of the cookies, his wife’s wrinkled hand reaches out and smacks him.

His wife yells at him, “No! You can’t have those, they are for the funeral.”
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I pick fresh vegetables everyday. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon.
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My New Year’s resolution is to keep my glass half full, with either gin or vodka!
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The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket up with wine!
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Vodka may not be the answer but it’s worth a shot.
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The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.

Oscar Wilde
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Using the toilet on an airplane means that I am certified to teach yoga.
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I remember when yoga was called Twister.
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I think I just invented four new yoga poses when I reached for the chocolate chip cookie that I dropped under the table.
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Getting a divorce is like being fired from a job that you have hated for years.
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My husband and I got divorced over religious reasons.

He thought that he was God and I didn’t.
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Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. It’s so nice to see so many new faces.
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The best part of being over 40 is that we did all of our stupid stuff before the internet was invented.
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Just one day out from Christmas and I maybe should turn myself in to the thought police.
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Not a joke but kind of one. Hubs was asking me about the gift certificates I got for Christmas,, did I get one for a massage? Yep says I, from DD. turns out he got me one too, it was still up on the dresser... LOL But now we call it the day after Christmas gift,, could be a new trend.
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No @budleofjoy posting any more either? they use to do a lot of joke and other posts.

My ex-wife is a water sign and I’m an earth sign. Together we made mud. RD
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