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It's never too late to give up.
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Always believe that something wonderful could never happen.
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Even if you change the world, it doesn't mean it won't change right back.
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I think, therefore I get a headache.
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Make sure to drink water so you can stay hydrated while you suffer.
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Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But then, so was yesterday and look how that turned out.
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Don’t be a part of the problem. Be the whole problem.
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"I couldn't fix your brakes so I made your horn louder."
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"Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital."
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"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."
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"I drank what?" - Socrates
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"I pronounce you husband and wife, proceed with the execution."
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I wish I could take your pain away and give it to someone we really hate.
🙂
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My husband was going to Costco yesterday. I stayed home this time as I wasn't feeling well. I asked him if he could see if they had a new release of a book called "Table For Two". He replied why would they have that and if it was there why wouldn't it be called "Table For Ten".
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“If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be bad at following directions.”
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"One advantage to talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening."
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Interviewer:
So tell me about yourself.

Me:
I'd rather not...I kinda want this job.
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"I don't want to brag, but I've been called 'a piece of work'. That's good, right?"
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Life is exactly like a game of chess.

(I don't know how to play chess.)
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I can handle pain until it hurts.
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They told me I was gullible…and I believed them.
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I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
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Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
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BOJ, I thought I was wrong once, turns out I was mistaken. :-)
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🌸🌸 If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
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Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
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I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.
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Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want.
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Marriage means commitment.
Of course, so does insanity.
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She’s always late.
Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
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