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Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
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Hey buddy, I think that you and I will definitely be friends forever.
Do you know why? Because we are too lazy to find new pals.
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My biggest fear is dying and going to hell, but then I look at you and realize that you will definitely be coming with me.
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Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So, inevitably both are disappointed.

- Albert Einstein
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You call me your - best friend - , but where the heck were you when my selfie only got four likes?
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If we're on a plane that is about to crash, and there is just one parachute. I promise to give the best speech at your funeral.
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I can't wait for us to grow old together and live in a nursing home. Can you imagine the chaos? We will destroy this place as soon as we get there.
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Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions that you can’t answer.

- Charles Schulz
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I wish common sense was more common.
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Coffee ✅
Coffee✅
Another coffee ✅

I love checking things off my list!
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Mondays are like potholes in the road.

What’s the best part of a Monday? The ending.

Tuesday is just a sign to show that I survived Monday.
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People love it when you kiss them on the back of the neck. But not when they're driving. And you're in the back seat. And they didn't know you were there.
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Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
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Hope we didn't need that.
--Me, vacuuming.
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The definition of laziness: resting before you're tired.
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This is not a joke but humorous. Might not translate unless you know someone with aunts acerbic wit.
For further context…DH aunt (97) has a new roomie, Cheryl. She is a younger woman. May only be in her late 60s. Nice thick hair in a pony, wears shorts sometimes and very outgoing. Maybe a little too needy for aunt.

She comments often that aunt won’t talk to her. she is mobile, able to wonder about and attend functions. Aunt, bedfast, on hospice for years, appreciates her privacy and doesn’t seem to want to interact, probably because she is not one to suffer fools lightly.
I leave it alone as aunt is still able to communicate her likes/dislikes. usually by closing her eyes and pretending to sleep. That takes care of most casual visitors.

Aunt really doesn’t talk often anymore to anyone but on a good day she will. She certainly isn’t going to talk on demand. I have advised Cheryl that it might take Aunt getting comfortable.

Aunts long time aide, Susie, was bringing her back from a shower. She had aunt all dolled up. Cheryl saw aunt and said “you look so pretty”.

Aunt said to Susie, the aide, “was she talking to me?” (probably the most Cheryl has heard her say)

Susie replied, “She said you look pretty”.

Aunt quickly quipped “Tell her I don’t have a dime”. Yep. She’s still in there.
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Courage is knowing it might hurt,
and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same.
And that's why life is hard.
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Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees?

Because they're very good at it.
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Why did the half blind man fall into a well?

He couldn’t see that well.
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A guy is in a doctors office. His doctor is there with him.

"I have two pieces of bad news," the doctor says.

"What are they?"

"Well, the first piece of news is that you have cancer."

"What's the 2nd piece of news?" he asks.

"Well, the 2nd piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer's."

The man laughs and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
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Why don't blind people skydive?

Their dogs hate it.
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Why do ants never get sick?

Because they have little antibodies.
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haha thanks! hugggg!
and i love being called bundle, or bundle of joy! makes me really happy and smile.
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go ahead and change it if you want to! you can tell people, remind them who you are. people here do change their names; some accidentally lose their accounts. whatever reason. go ahead and do it, if you want. feeling good, is important.
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“I pretty much never sit by the pool anymore.”
—Marco Polo
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Honestly, I've never seen anyone fall because of a banana.
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Someone asked me what to do with left over bacon. I have never heard of that kind of bacon. Is it new?
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When you teach a wolf to meditate...
Then that wolf

becomes aware wolf.
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NOoooo, you haven't gained that much weight during the pandemic. C'mon...chin up. No, the other one.
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I miss the 90s when bread was still good for you,
and no one knew what kale was.
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