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🙂 I don’t always have a valid argument
but when I do, it’s later that day, in the shower.
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Hey tell me if this sounds like a phone hanging up.
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Don’t you think if I were wrong I’d know it?
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You want to know what it’s like having a fourth kid?
Imagine drowning then someone hands you a baby.
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🙂 I don’t always walk around my house in socks
but when I do, I find the only wet spot on the kitchen floor.
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🙂 You look like I need a drink.
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I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
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If I tell you I’m 5 minutes away and you believe me that is your own personal problem.
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🙂 Non-practicing
intellectual
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Have the courage
to achieve nothing.
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🙂 Hang on a minute,
let me overcomplicate this.
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😉 I'm so clumsy...Sometimes I embarrass myself in front of myself.
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6:45 am. I'm just going to put an "out of order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
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🙂 I'd love to stay and chat but I'm lying.
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My last word will probably be "oops".
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Sorry, can't talk. I talked to two people yesterday.
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Turns out I'm not an afternoon person, either.
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People are usually shocked
when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.
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The more I get to know certain people...
the more I realize why Noah only let animals board the ark.
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true story...

I do not have ducks.

I do not have a row.

I have squirrels, and they're at a rave.


--- bundle of joy
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There are 2 types of people:

1. People who think I'm awesome.
2. People who are dead to me.
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🙂 I followed my heart and it led me to the airport.
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🙂 If you need me
I'll be overthinking things over here.
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Rearrange these letters to form words.

1. PNEIS
2. BUTTSXE

Did you get "spine" and "subtext", like me?

😇 bundle of joy
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🙂 I'm stuck between a rock and someone I'd like to hit with it.
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🙂 Democracy (noun)

4 wolves and 1 lamb voting on lunch.
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🙂 Life (noun)

A party, but I’m the piñata.
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Nothing (noun)

Obviously something, just keep asking.
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Pinky promise (noun)

The most sacred, serious vow anyone can swear to. If broken, you must suffer some serious consequences.
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This message was deleted (phrase)

The message you wanted to see the most.
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