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When he offers solutions instead of just letting me complain…
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Hi, and welcome back to me crying.
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Life hack:
Don’t die.
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Go to the store…
Get the cart with the messed up wheel.
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I love how chocolate tricks me into thinking I’m in a good mood for about 27 minutes.
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Whenever I have an internet break, I check my job.
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🥰 What are we fake caring about today?
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🤯 Sometimes getting out of bed just ruins the whole day.
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I love these jokes! Hilarious wisdom, really

One thing I like to do is, when a store clerk at checkout says, “ Did you find everything you were looking for? ” I answer, “ Do you know where the Sanity is?” Half the time they look at me like I’ve grown a second head. The other half says, “ I don’t know what aisle that’s on, but when you find THAT, let me know! “
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A haiku about getting out of bed:

No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no
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On Monday mornings I like to wake up slow
and sit on the couch,
having coffee for 37 hours.
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Phones nowadays are so expensive
you fall and hear a crack sound and
you pray it's your leg.
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Sign outside of church:
Since Jesus is the Lamb of God
does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
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@BOJ

LOL. Funny you should mention the cart with the messed up wheel. I have never not gotten the cart with the messed up wheel.
On Friday, I went to the store and thought I'd be smart and take the messed up wheel cart back and get a different one. The different one was even worse.
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haha!
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🙂 Happiness is
…being unable to stop laughing.
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I don’t know what I’d do without coffee.
I’m guessing 25 to life.
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94% of people drink coffee
and the remaining 6% cry a lot.
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Coffee.
Because sarcasm needs to stay hydrated.
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Coffee (noun)

1. A warm, delicious alternative to hating everyone forever.
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🙂 My anxiety
has anxiety at this point.
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Anxiety: THIS IS TOO MUCH.

Me: What is?

Anxiety: ALL OF THIS.

Me: I'm literally not even doing anything.

Anxiety: TOO MUCH.!!!!!!!!!!
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🙂 Anxiety is my cardio.
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You’ll do.
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I love you more than I originally planned to.
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You repulse me the least.
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🙂 some self-deprecating humour…

Instead of your spirit animal, what’s your spirit plant?

Rhododendron. Requires very specific conditions, but even when those conditions are met, it is unlikely to thrive.
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I went to the paint store to get thinner.
It didn’t work.
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🙂🙂 It’s what I do.
I eat tacos and I know things.
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Please
don’t breed.
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