I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
About the computer industry:
We've created life in our own image.
Spoiled dogs (and their household staff) live here. 🙂
and remember, you’re pawsome!!
🐾🐾🙂🙂
I don't.
I have early onset
rigor mortis.
I look normal, but believe me,
I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.
Me: (Have never made a decision that didn't screw me over for months afterwards.) Yes, absolutely.
There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe your soul.
Even if it's cold.
Over ice.
With a celery stalk.
And vodka.
a loving heart
and a clear mind
that some people
can still kiss my
a***s.
In between my moments of guilt for leaving them...are hours and hours of utter happiness.
Woman: Nonsense!...I'd love you no matter who left you a fortune!
best served eventually.
It's a small, cute terrier, and tends to bark a lot.
If you're interested let me know
and I'll jump over my neighbour's fence and get it for you.
has clearly never had 2 candy bars
fall down at once from a vending machine.
it's all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads 2 books
a week and yet complains about how much he hates prison.
A: A cat. A cat loves fish.
One reason that cats are happier than people is that they have no newspapers.
insults without swearing:
My mother allways told me to be nice or be quiet. I presume you've not heard from yours in years?
—
Your parents aren’t even disappointed in you. They know this is the best you can do.
—
I once asked a girl, “Where have you been all my life?”
Her response was, “I don’t know, but I wish I was still there.”
—
I find the fact that you lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
—
🥰 I'm genuinely excited to never interact with you again.
—
Somewhere somehow you are robbing a village of an idiot.
—
Bless your heart.
—
🥰 You are one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Too many people are watching.
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it works.
—
Are you on stupid pills?
—
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
—
I smell smoke. Were you thinking too hard again?
A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.
Please shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
X: Yesterday's pizza! 🥰
(X opens the box.)
X: Dang! It's empty...
He was only supposed to eat half. He betrayed me.
Y: Who betrayed you?
X: My past self.
1.free food
2.free rent
3.sleep as long as you want to
4.look great with no effort