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Not for those younger than 15.

The guy arrived in the unknown city in dire need of some adult entertainment, but was too shy to ask directly. He then saw an older lady walking by and went:
“Excuse me, ma’am, could you be so kind to show me where the church is?”
“Why, of course young man. It’s just five blocks in that direction.”
“Wow. Right in the middle of the Red-Light District?!”
“Of course not!! The Red-Light is to the north.”
“Thank you.”
And north he went.
(8)
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Husband: When I die, I'm gonna leave everything to you.

Wife: You already do, you lazy bum!
(11)
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It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

:)
(9)
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The best way to get back on your feet is to miss two car payments.
(15)
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My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job.
I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.


:)
(10)
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We ALL have a photographic memory (Oh yes we do lol)
Its just that some of US are lacking the film.


:)
(7)
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Frazzled mama, I thought it said the best way to get back at your feet.

Yes, that zoom noise was my hair being cut close to the scalp on top of my air head. Derhuh!
(3)
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SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS GROUP

"Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room?"
(6)
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what's the one good thing about memory loss?

You get to make new friends every day
(6)
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How does a man know he is in real trouble?

When he has a wife, a girl friend and a car payment and they are all three months late.
(8)
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I just read a study that smoking weed causes memory loss.
The next thing you know someone wil develope a study that says smoking weed causes memory loss.
(10)
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I'm not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.
(11)
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Disney is suing Daffy Duck for divorce from her husband , Donald on the grounds of insanity. Donald stated, " I never said my wife was crazy, what I said was that she's f*****g Goofey."
(2)
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I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."


:)
(8)
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Patient walks into cardiologists office and says Dr. I have acute angina. Dr. says, "that's good 'cause you got lousy legs."
(4)
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Our fingers have fingertips, but our toes don't have toetips, yet we can tiptoe. :)
(7)
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Patient walks into cardiologists office and says Dr. I have acute angina. Dr. says, "that's good 'cause you got lousy legs." Patient says “you’re going to have to explain that one to the Medical Board, I just don’t get it”.
(3)
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how is the star ship enterprise like toilet paper??

They both circle Uranus and search for clingons.
(6)
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during the 'Our Gang' annual spelling bee, Buckwheat was asked to spell the word 'dictate' which he spelled 'DICTATE' the moderator then asked him to use the word in a sentence. Buckwheat replied, " hey Darla, when we went out last night, how'd my 'dictate?'
(0)
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I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus.
That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

:)
(10)
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I read a blog that said to do yoga to relax. I've tweaked that a bit to suit me better - I drink wine in yoga pants.
(7)
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Sleeping in my yoga pants......I call it "meditation".
(7)
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I have some great jokes, but many of them keep getting deleted. Corny jokes do nothing for me, if they're not a bit naughty, why bother?
(0)
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As he was coming up on another birthday, a man was feeling depressed about his age. Hoping to cheer him up, his wife went shopping to get him some new clothes. A saleswoman asked if she could help her, and the wife said, "I'm looking for something wild and youthful in a pair of men's pants." The saleswoman sighed and said, "Aren't we all, honey, aren't we all."
(10)
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Ok, husband comes home to his wife after work with a goose under his arm and says "this is the pig I've been f******g." Wife says "that's not a pig!" Husband says , "I wasn't talking to you!"
(0)
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Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."

Guest: "I'll make my own bed."

Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
(6)
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Caregiver says to patient, "how come every time I put you on the commode you start to cry?" Patient says, "It's my potty and I'll cry if I want to"
(5)
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All of my jokes are racy, so heads up, don't read them if you're faint of heart, religious, or whatever.
(0)
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You might like the jokes posted on the "Grossed out and need to vent" thread salutem.
(5)
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Salutem, I am neither faint of heart nor religious, and definitely no 'whatever'. Jokes that are neither sexist nor lavatory humor might be less likely to be deleted. Buy a different book of jokes so we can all laugh with you.
(6)
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