I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
like an axe wound in a gorrillas back .
She looked at me and said, "so your telling me I'm all screwed up?"
I will never forget that moment. It makes me laugh to this day.
He told him, “It’s good to see you. How have you been?” His friend responded with, “It’s good to see you too. My aunt died a couple of years ago and left me $10,000. He said to his friend, that was kind of her to remember you. That’s a lot of money.
His friend looked sad. So he asked him, “Why do you look sad?” He said, “Well, my grandmother died awhile ago and left me $35,000.” He responded to his friend, “Gee, that’s nice that she thought of you. That’s a lot of money.”
Still his friend looked glum. He asked his friend again, “Why are you looking so down? Is something wrong?”
The friend replied, “Well, my great uncle died and left me a quarter of a million dollars.”
He said to his friend, “Wow! That’s a lot of money. You can travel, buy a new car and put some money in the bank. It was so nice of your uncle to think of you. I don’t understand why you look so sad.”
His friend replied, “No one died today.”
i know what the hell im talking about . until 6 yrs ago i drove a ' repaired ' 51 chevy truck . still have it . my motorcycle trike is just a bunch of glob welded , crazy sh!t , put together . my current truck is a 700 . 00 gmc sonoma that just keeps ' coming up ' . its now a stout ass little miniature dumptruck . there is NOTHING i would replace it , or the junk trike with .
i think the guys are paying attention .
moments later something similar happened to a mutually rich friend of theirs -- also at the restaurant . the first guy told his wife " see, we all have side chicks, just comes with the territory.
the wife indignantly told him that she wouldnt stand for it and wanted a divorce asap .
husband told her to suit herself but it would be the end of the exotic traveling , yacht club , etc . the wife pondered on that for a bit then ' resignedly ' said " well at least our mistress is prettier than his ".
a guy all dressed up with nowhere to go.
The lawyer was stunned. These people were close to 100!
”But—why now?” was all he could say.
The wife replied, “Well, we wanted to wait until all the children were dead.”
Cute! 😊
its called " nacho mama's " .
a biker is cramming down a country highway very late at night . its pretty deserted so hes speeding a little . out of nowhere a cop nails him for same . the cop says " im gonna get my lieutenant out here and tear this bike apart so you might as well tell me if theres any contraband . oh sht , the biker says .
" actually there is a gun in the front bag and the saddles are filled with drugs " .
so the cop locks him in his patrol car and gets lieutenant out there . absolutely nothing is found .
the lieutenant asked the biker " what gives man ? "
" my patrolman assured me that id find a gun and drugs on this bike " .
yea , the biker said . " i'll bet that f'er told you i was speeding too , didnt he ? ' .
How do you get out?
You look in the mirror and see what you saw. You take the saw and cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Put the hole on the wall and climb out.
Smart phone - do nothing, it's magic!
Sundial - move one house to your left
Microwave, range and other kitchen appliances - you'll need a degree in electrical engineering
Car - don't bother, it'll be right again in 6 months
the innkeep pointed out that they only had a party of 13 .
" look , were all gonna sit on one side -- ok ? was the terse reply .
since I switched from coffee in
the morning to orange juice. The doctor
explained that it's the vitamin C
and all the natural sugars, but
I think it's the vodka 😉
My favorite poison is gin but vodka works too!
The only time I gave up coffee was when I was pregnant. Then after she was born, I admit I caved! Completely! Drank coffee while breastfeeding.
Well, you know what they say. What we eat or drink, the baby also eats and drinks. One night I had a nightmare that my daughter was nursing and instead of her consuming milk, she was drinking cafe’ au lait. Hahaha!
I woke up kind of startled by my dream, then cracked up laughing and I did cut back on my coffee after that dream.
nobody gets humor as distorted as the simpsons writers imo . love em -- always have .
Too funny! Hahaha 🤣