I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
My hubby saw this meme on FB and thought it was hilarious:
I use to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
Whats the best way to get a Coronavirus test?
Cough in a rich persons face and wait for their test results to come back.
... people would just rather Like people who have a tiny bit more roughing it to do, shall we say?
I still think it's a jolly funny joke, though.
The Toilet Paper Strikes Back;
The Return of the Toilet Paper;
The Last Toilet Paper;
A New Toilet Paper.;
As the Toilet Paper Turns;
The Edge of Toilet Paper .
Toilet Paper for Tomorrow.
The young and the Toilet Paper
Wizard of TP
I LOVE TP
Mystic Toilet Paper
Steel Toilet Paper (ouch)
Runaway Toilet Paper
Toilet Paper to Remember
Rear Toilet Paper
Toilet Paper at Tiffany’s
Valley of Toilet Paper
Youve Got Toilet Paper
French Toilet Paper
When Harry met Toilet Paper
Hanging Toilet Paper
Private Toilet Paper
Almost Toilet Paper
How to Lose a Guy in Toilet Paper
I Wish I Was Toilet Paper
I could do this all night...
”Dad, why did you and Mom name my sister Paris?”
”Because that’s where she was conceived, son”
”Okay, thanks Dad”
”No problem, Quarantined”
by Joseph Hilaire Pierre Belloc
SIR HENRY WAFFLE KC ( continuing )
Sir ANTHONY HABBERTON, Justice and Knight,
Was enfeoffed of two acres of land
And it doesn't sound much till you hear that the site
Was a strip to the South of the Strand.
HIS LORDSHIP ( Obiter Dictum )
A strip to the South of the Strand
Is a good situation for land.
It is healthy and dry
And sufficiently high
And convenient on every hand.
At 2016 land prices: 2 acres of land in Westminster = c £75.5 million. Just the land, not the assets.
Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30pm.
Attorney: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Witness: If not, he was by the time I finished.
Attorney: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have been performed on dead people?
Witness: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
The Walking Toilet Paper
50 first Toilet Paper
Wedding Toilet Paper
Cannon ball Toilet Paper
Smokey end the Toilet Paper
John Toilet Paper
In Her Toilet Paper
Crazy Rich Toilet Paper
Collateral Toilet Paper
Storm of the Toilet Paper
Polar Toilet Paper
Deepwater Toilet Paper
Best Man's Toilet Paper
Toilet Papers First Date
Toilet Paper Singer
Toilet Paper Run
Toilet Paper Damage
What can I say? I amuse easily. Good thing too - my state of Oregon just went mandatory “stay at home”... it’s gonna be a looong two weeks but well worth it if it helps kick this crappy situation to the curb!!!
#flatenthecurve. Oops- wrong site but right message.
"You're such a great guy."
"You'd make a good dad."
"I wish I could find someone like you."
"Not *you*, but, you know, someone just like you."
Commenter: I'll translate for you. You're b*tt ugly.
"so how did the earthlings die?"
"They used so much toilet paper, they wiped themselves out".
The person on the other end just started screaming, "BEEEEEEEEEES!! BEEEEEEEES!!"
I assumed that the bees were neither mugging him nor on fire. So I put it through to ambulance because what the fr*ck even.
”There’s a pig in the road. A big one.”
”Sir, where are you?”
”At the stoplight. It’s the biggest dang pig I have ever seen. Get someone here now!” (One stoplight town, the bar is near the intersection.)
”How big is the pig?”
”About the size of a volkswagen?”
”How much have you had to drink?”
”I’m not fricking drunk! It’s a giant pig, the size of a small car! What is wrong with you people?”
officers show up to find a full grown hippo that had escaped from the local wild animal park.
Daughter: (in her sing song voice) "Corona"
We have a family of four and cut down our shopping from every three to four days to every two weeks. The only problem is we went shopping a few days ago and the shelves were practically empty.