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Metoo111, shouldn't that say "government" employee?🤣

That was funny even though.
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To protect criminals from COVID 19, politicians release them from jails, at the same time, they require law-biding citizens to put themselves in solitary confinement.
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Not so funny, but odd...
We have been buying our own grocery bags and bringing them into stores for a long time now. Actually have quite a collection.

The new requirement is that we cannot bring in our own bags anymore!
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Thinking I need to run out and buy some new jewelry.🚽
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@ Sendhelp....
What came first the Chicken or the egg?
(this is for your post on April 21)
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Grandma,
Sorry, on the Amazon website, I forgot to click "Send", Lol.

We did go to pick up a grocery 'pantry pack' that had both chicken and eggs in the pre-selected bags. I am finding this the most reasonable way to shop safely, as you pre-order and pre-pay online, then the restaurant puts it in your trunk. $40-
This restaurant was called Lazy Dog, but there are many other restaurants doing the same, and getting creative! A pizza nite, a backyard barbeque pack, you cook it yourself.
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Haven’t posted in awhile but had to share this....

I was having a window visit with my dad at his nursing home yesterday. His aide sets him up with a phone. Dad is 90 with moderate dementia. I’m trying to make conversation, the weather, filling your bird feeders etc. I asked dad what was going on in there. He said “Oh not much. But there’s some guy just outside the window. Don’t know who in the hell he is”.
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Thanks1 Humor is healing, and i love jokes.A pilot was flying a boy scout. a preacher, and a famous scientist to a camp site gathering.A sudden malfunction of the plane made a crash likely.The pilot had on a parachute. He exclaimed that he had only2 other parachutes. The scientist said that he was possibly the smartest person in the world and should therefore take one of the available chutes. The preacher said to the boy scout,"you must take the other chute because you a fine young man." The boy scout said," do not worry Pastor. You and I each can have a chute. The smartest man in the world just strapped on my backpack and jumped out."
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O, how i loved all the jokes! i especially enjoyed the one about management in the baloon! Hope you all like mine. What fun! !
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A sweet quote from readers Digest,"The past is gone and the future is out of sight.Today is a gift and so we call it "the present".O, what a super beautiful day it ishere in San Antonio, Tx.Everything is lush and verdant. It is so cool and so sunny; so tranquil and quiet.; clean air to breathe an d loveliness all around me at the high end of a long shallow canyon filled with live oaks and junipers.Thanks be to a gracious and merciful God.O, how grateful we all should be if we can walk pain free, talk coherently,smell, taste, and enjoy good things, amost precious of all have the freedom to choose what we want. Love to all!
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Even though I am an excellent cook and love making healthy home made goodies, I loved the " little Debbie" comment So cute and witty. I just keep on chuckling.
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A funny story from the wonderful Jack Van Impe; Many years ago,an elderly Amish farmer and his son rather daringly made the decision to ride their horses to visit a huge hotel in a medium sized city.They entered the lobby and saw an elevatordoor open. A very stooped, frail, gray haired lady entered and the door closed.They stared for a momemt fascinated. Then, the door opened again and out stepped a lovely, slim, erect woman.Quick, son, said the Amish man, let's go home and get Mama.
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The world is coming to an end!
Repent and return those library books!
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My niece and I decided to play a joke on our neighbor today. She is quite the nosey neighbor. We told her we were moving to Florida on Friday in a condo on the ocean. She was wondering what we were doing in the garage with the crew. She started to cry, my parents lived on our street for over 70 years. We continued to fib, it was quite funny. We still have not told her. She took a walk around the neighborhood and niece noticed she was talking to our backyard neighbor and also another neighbor. We will see how many neighbors bid us goodbye. I told here we sold the house privately, and a family of 10 moving in soon, plus possibly the grandmother. She asked how old were the kids. I told her 2, 4, 6, 8 and up. I told her I am glad they will not be my neighbors because the kids are quite loud and rambunctious. We shall see if we get a going away gift from any of our neighbors. Hope we get some sweets, I will pay for them once the joke is over, and probably do a gift basket for being a good sport. I guess we need a little fun and some laughter these days.
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Earlybird,

Hahaha 😂 Funny!
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Earlybird, please keep us updated. You can’t just leave us hanging!
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Science Tip
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later, or in awhile.
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Oh Kay! Funny face mask tutorial.
https://www.countryliving.com/life/a32196101/funny-face-mask-tutorial/
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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.  The other half will come out with a drinking problem
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Those of us without a drinking problem will possibly those who did not practice safe distancing from food to keep our own curves down like me.
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1/3rd will be cooking with wine!
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DH just bought a Mother's Day card... With a lovely retro housewife reading instructions from a recipe book *use leftover wine*.

??? What's leftover wine???

His Mum will get it 😁. She likes a glass but only with company - must be getting very dry these days...
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There are some newer abbreviations for LMAO.
LMMO = Laughing my mask off.
LMFMO = Laughing my f mask off.
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I'm clicking the "thumbs up" icon to 'like' a post, but nothing is happening.

I tried to like my own post.
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I got this one from a book about memorable blunders:
A local museum in County Durham, England, displayed a Roman coin minted `between AD135 and AD138’. A 9 year old school girl pointed out that ‘it was in fact a plastic token given away free by a soft drinks firm in exchange for bottle labels’. Asked to explain, she said ‘I knew because the firm’s trademark was printed on the back’. The ‘coin’ was designed as a Roman replica, but the ‘R’ on the back stood for ‘Robinsons’, the soft drink firm, not ‘Roma’. Whoops!
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I went on Facebook to check the public posts of a longtime former poster and fabulous cook here. She was reading a recipe and was flumoxxed by the instructions: "add onions and sweat....." until she realized that "sweat" was a verb not a noun.
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Cows have hooves because they lactose...........
(insert painful groan here)
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What do older women have between their boobs that younger women don’t?


A belly button! 😜
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Here’s another ‘memorable blunder’. A canal in England needed cleaning out for the first time in over a century, as over the years people had chucked in bedsteads, old chairs etc. The cleaning crew did a first pass with a dredger, and went to lunch. A policeman came to get them because of a large whirlpool in the canal. When they arrived there was no water, just holiday canal boats stuck in the mud surrounded by rubbish. It turned out that the first dredge had removed a large plug in the bottom of the canal, that stopped the water draining away. ‘Nobody knew there was a plug’, said the Waterways Board.
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Update on the nosey neighbor. I went grocery shopping yesterday and got a call from niece that neighbors across the street were standing on our property looking in the front picture window of our house, my niece looked directly at them and apparently they were surprised and took off. I told niece she should have confronted them and asked why they were looking in our window. I bet nosey neighbor told them we moved and they thought we were long gone, no other explanation I can think of. Very odd.
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