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97yroldmom, the bible's only explanation is that Jesus made it change from water into wine.
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Jesus changed water into wine, because his mother asked him to.

LOL, 97 y.o. Mom.
Cannot give the pages of the bible, because there are so many different translations and paraphrases, all listed under Chapter and Verse.
John 2:1-12 New King James Version (NKJV)
2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”
4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”
6 Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 10 And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”
11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.
12 After this He went down to Capernaum, He, His mother, His brothers, and His disciples; and they did not stay there many days.
New King James Version (NKJV)

Taking the bible literally.
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My friend's mom just announced that she is going to her first sex party and wasn't sure what to bring. After some delicate questioning, my friend laughed and said, "Gender reveal, mom. It's a gender reveal party."
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FrazzledMama,

ha, ha, ha, your friend's mom just needs to be encouraged to take plenty of condiments which I don't care for, but I do like condominiums! or you could tell her to encourage her mom to take her adult toys with her like a walker and other such toys
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My trip to town produced a small joke book called ‘Church Chuckles’:

Sign in Church Hall kitchen: ‘After use please rinse teapot, then stand upside down in sink’.

!!
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That's funny, Margaret. It remind me of a sign in a laundromat: "When the wash cycle finishes, please remove all your clothes."
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Likewise, (as seen in a used book shop) "Books Sorted by Authors" (DH noted the sign and, when I asked if he was getting bored waiting for me as I browsed, said "No, I'm just waiting for Stephen King to come on shift..."
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I tried opening a German deli but it's just gone from bad to wurst.
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Here's another miss-spelt sign

The choir needs more sinners.
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What did the man say to the bartender?

"I’ll have a corona, hold the virus."
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Sign on the Church Office door, after the Vicar had a short but dangerous illness:

‘God is good. The Vicar is better.’
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The congregation was meeting in the Church Hall to discuss raising money to repair the ceiling. The local big-wig stood up and said ‘’I’ll donate $50”. As he sat down, a bit of plaster fell on his head. He stood up again and said “I’ll make that $500”. Another Church member said quietly: “Hit him again, Lord”.
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I keep reading Sendhelp’s last post on July 2, and thinking ??????? I have read many explanations of the water into wine, from total faith to the (rather way-out) suggestion that ‘John’ was actually Jesus proving that you shouldn’t believe everything you read. I have never read it as a Joke, to be posted to a Joke site. Curioser and curioser! Two people liked it, so perhaps they got the joke. It didn't make it to my 'Church Chuckles' book!

PS Since writing the above, I've just gone back to see who 'liked' it, and the penny dropped.. Someone was asking how to turn water into wine, to save on alcohol bills! Duh!
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Margaret: You can actually see who 'liked' the water to wine joke post? No kidding - how do you do that? "The penny dropped?" What does that mean?
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97yroldmom posts this joke:
Jul 2, 2020
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHICH PAGE OF THE 
BIBLE EXPLAINS HOW TO TURN WATER INTO WINE? 

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

Sendhelp says:
Not too many understand my jokes at all. I think if one has to explain the joke, it takes away the humor. I doubt very much once 'explained' that it will be better understood. A multifaceted joke....
One might need to be Catholic, or understand Catholics.

Part one:
97 y.o. mom makes a joke. It has a question.
Sendhelp answers the question, 'as if' it was a real question, and not a joke.
Part two:
Sendhelp explains that Jesus performed the miracle because his
mother told him to. ?What? Nobody knows any men who do what their mothers tell them to, even into adultood?
Part three:
Sendhelp continues to answer the question about which page of the bible explains how to turn water into wine, by actually posting the referenced 'page', literally.
Part four:
It is one of those jokes that you would have had to actually have
been there....🌠
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mrsribit
Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor.

🍇🍇Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o) 😍😂😒
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This is the joke thread right? Humor is like beauty. It's in the eye of the beholder.

Let's just all laugh.........the world needs it right now.
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Senior Texting Codes:

ATD - At The Doctors
BTW - Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
ROFLACGU - Rolling On Floor Laughing and Can't Get Up
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Three retirees, each with hearing loss, were playing golf one day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the 2nd man replied, "it's Thursday." And the 3rd man chimed in, "I'm thirsty too, Let's have a beer."
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OK, back to the Awful Jokes for Aussie Kids book:

Q: How do you fit an elephant into a matchbox?
A: First you take out all the matches.

Q: What footwear makes you fall over?
A: Slippers.

Q: What part of the railway line never wakes up?
A: The sleepers.

Enough already! Church Chuckles are better!
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Day 1 of quarantine: I'm going to take this as an opportunity to improve my health
Day 45 of quarantine: Due to personal reasons, I am eating a lasagna in my shower
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I thought Sendhelp liked the joke because she wrote
“LOL, 97 y.o. Mom”

Then I got to thinking about how much wine that would be. About 900 bottles!
Jesus didn’t mess around.

Here is another wine JOKE

The wife sitting next to her husband on the sofa says “I love you”

The husband says “ Is that you talking OR the wine?”

The wife says, “It’s me.....
talking to the wine.”
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No-one likes my Awful Jokes for Aussie Kids! I thought it was quite interesting to see what kids actually think is funny (mostly words with more than one meaning). Anyway, my daily joke tomorrow will come from a different source. Not all the joke books I manage to pick up are up to our elevated standards!
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Sorry Margaret I still haven't found a good source for new jokes to share, I'm still looking!
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Cwillie, OpShops are the best source I've found (also around 50c a go). Inscriptions suggest that they were a Christmas present for Grandpa etc, and they only got one read. With the Awful Jokes for Aussie Kids, I'm not surprised - and most of them are worse. EG Q: Why were the elephants late in getting into the Ark? A: They had to pack their trunks. And there's actually a cartoon that says
Q: What's huge, grey and groans? A: A bad elephant joke.
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A stooped, white haired man walked into a jewellery store Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side and told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special." 
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweller said. The lady's
eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 
"By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." On Monday morning, the jeweller angrily phoned the old man and said, "Sir...There's no money in that account." "I know," said the man..."But let me tell you about my weekend."
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A termite walks into a bar, sits on a stool, raps on the wooden bar and says, Is the bar tender here?"

Get it? No punchline. You just have to get the joke.
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They don’t make American tourists like they used to 50 years ago. ‘Church Chuckles’ has:

A Somerset man and his wife visiting Canterbury Cathedral were approached by an American tourist who asked “Say, is this place open on Sundays?”

If you find that strange, I actually heard a similarly sophisticated guy ask his personal guide (loudly) in Greece: “Hercules, was he before or after Christ?”

I think guys like that have gone the way of their enormous suggestive telephoto lenses.
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A Riddle:

How do you help a person who uses a scooter for mobility celebrate Independence Day?

You place bubble wrap under the scooter wheels and he drives back and forth.

(Spouse enjoyed this.)
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I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad - Freud
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