I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
A receding hare-line.
Between you and me, something smells.
Stop – Look ---Listen ---Run
Once outside, the dog turns to the man and says, "So, I should have said Dimaggio?"
The old gent thought it over for a few seconds and replied, "I don't know. What kind of ammo ya' got?"
Pregnancy is when you can’t say ‘Let’s just forget the whole thing’.
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
The length of a marriage is inversely proportionate to the cost of the wedding.
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Every good cook should have principles – mine is to finish the bottle.
The following actually took place.
Waitress: Do you have any questions or are you ready to order?
My husband: Yes, I was wondering if the chili was fresh?
Waitress: Yes Sir, we just opened the can this morning.
We still laugh about the incident and how generational differences can be so funny.
She wishes to be rich, to be young again and for her cat to be turned into a handsome prince...
As she melts into his embrace, he whispers to her.."Bet you're sorry now that you had me neutered"....
1) Indecent ten years before its time
2) Daring one year before its time
3) Chic in its time
4) Dowdy three years after its time
5) Ridiculous thirty years after its time
6) Amazing a hundred years after its time.
I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the lift.
Because sometimes you have to work it out with a pencil.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
The race is not always to the swift, but that’s the way to bet.
No matter what goes wrong, there is always someone who knew it would.
Why can't male ants sink?
They're buoy-ant.
(Just wanted to be silly!)
Thanks to all the posters who help on this, and thanks to the 'thumbs uppers' who encourage us. I was ashamed a few months ago when a new poster asked mournfully why there was nothing to cheer her up, and decided to try a lot harder. South Australia where I live has social distancing rules but no current community Covid transmission, so visiting the local Op shops, signing in, hand sanitising and then heading for the ‘humor’ books is a new hobby.
He kept leaving littles messages around the house.
(our dog leaves littles messages in the yard without eating Scrabble tiles :) )
Why is the basketball wet? Because it kept getting dribbled on.
Told you it was dumb. 😊
I would tell you a poop joke, but it stinks.
Step one: pour a glass of wine and try to smell it
Step two: if you can smell the wine then drink some wine to see if you can taste it
Step three: great, if you can smell and taste the wine you can confirm that you don't have the corona virus
Last night I did the test 9 times just to make sure and all were negative, thank God. Tonight I'm going to take the test again though because I woke up with a headache and I feel like I might be coming down with something. I'm so nervous!
Grandma looks worried but trying to understand. Then she stops to ask anxiously: ‘You still circumcised, Sam?’
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.
love the wine joke. Have to add it to my collection. 🍷
If God did not want us to eat animals, then why did He make them out of meat?