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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise.
The librarian says, "Sure, what Volume would you like?"
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Gershun,

Totally second your comment! No harm done and Send should certainly feel no shame.

It’s great to share humor. Everyone is allowed have their own taste. Less judgement on little things is needed.

Your remark was refreshing to read, Gershun 😊.
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This is the twilight zone?
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Death does make you closer to God,
because now you don't exist either.
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Needhelp you should learn to practice what you preach.

Apparently I am not allowed to have my opinion.

When someone posts scriptures and then post something like that, I think it is a shame.
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Sigh......

This is the joke thread right?

Just checking.🤔
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Of course this infamous atheist absolutely ADORES SendHelp's joke!
I always stop reading as soon as the self-righteous say "You SHOULD................"
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Gershun,

It is the joke site. Lots of laughs! Some good, some not to everyone else’s taste.
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Love it, ALVA! It’s a joke page!!! It’s not about being a believer or not.

Hey, good rule of thumb! Stop reading. Always knew that you were a smart woman with tons of wisdom!

Love your sense of humor! 😊
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“I have not come to call the righteous,” Jesus concluded, “but sinners” (Luke 5:31-32 NIV).
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Send,

Amen! Jesus has his work cut out for him. Most people believe all are sinners.

Let the one who hasn’t sinned cast the first stone, right? I feel sorry for people who constantly feel the need to judge others, wagging their fingers at everyone...very sad.

Loved your joke! It was funny!
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Oh, Goodie. Now I can tell my BLONDE joke.

Three dumb blondes are walking on the beach when they find a genie bottle. One picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
"Well," says the Genie, I usually give three wishes to the person who finds me, but seeing that there are THREE of you, I can only give you one wish each.
The first dumb blonde says "I am so sick of being called a dumb blonde, and I want to be smarter".
Poof
And the first dumb blonde is now a redhead, and she is quite a lot smarter.
The second dumb blonde pops right up with "Well, I want to be SMARTER than the redhead" and there is a loud poof. And the second blonde is a lovely brunette. And she is smarter than the blonde left, and the redhead as well. With this the third dumb blonde says "Well! I am perfect HAPPY being a dumb blonde and I would like to be even dumber. I would like to be the dumbest thing ever."
There is another loud and smokey poof.
And the Redhead and Brunette look through the smoke at the third dumb blonde.......................................
who is now a man.
There! I fancy I have got myself in trouble with EVERYONE of every gender and shall put myself out for JUDGEMENT!
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Alva, funny joke and perfect timing too!

I would love to be a stand up comic! Joan Rivers did it until her senior years! George Burns did too, along with many others.

I have tons of material that I could use! Hahaha, Some even from this forum! LOL

Some of it is starting to remind me of a ridiculous reality television show! Hahaha Oh well...takes all kinds to make the world go around. 😊
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I'm blonde. But still laugh at blonde jokes.

Apparently blondes don't get offended by blonde jokes cause they usually don't get them.😁😂😃

Hey, I just made that one up.

Maybe cause blondes are really smarter and just pretend to be dumb so others don't get jealous.
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Gershun,

Very true! It takes a great actress to play a ‘dumb’ blonde!

How many brunettes went blonde? I know Loni Anderson did. Was Marilyn Monroe a brunette as well? When they went blonde their careers skyrocketed!

I have silver hair now but was auburn when younger. A lot of my dad’s family had red hair. Irish ☘️. Mom was a brunette when young.

Gershun, have you ever died your hair another color? I know a few blondes that went red or strawberry blonde and looked great!
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."
"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.
"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."
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Just left Walmart where a lady with a basket full of TP asked me what kind of dog I had. I said a service dog. Very rudely she yells what type of service? I said he is a BLD. What's a BLD? She asked as she is allowing my dog to lick her face. With a straight face I said "He is my butt licking dog ( BLD ). I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of people like you hoarding the TP so he licks my @ss clean...... The cashier lost it and walked away from the register.
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Making fun of someone's religion is not funny. Knowing that it offends people of faith and doing it again on purpose is what trolls do.

The trend now a day is that it's ok to attack Christianity, but if it was some other religion, like Islam, oh boy, that would not go down well.
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Polar,

I don’t think Sendhelp meant it that way at all. Maybe she didn’t even realize it would offend others when she typed the joke.

Be forgiving it if offended you. 💓 Duly noted but it’s over. Just let it go. No point in chastising her. It’s been addressed.
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NHWM- Send is not 5 years old. Only kids can use the excuse that they don't know what they are doing.
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Well, she can still be forgiven. Don’t you think? We all have the power to forgive. Give people a chance to explain if they wish to. That doesn’t mean that you have to like the joke.

Actually, all ages offend, and make excuses. Not just five year olds!

I didn’t mean that anyone was excusing anything. Anyone can act in haste and not realize how something will come across. And their sense of humor may be a bit different than others.

Remember Captain, he had a crazy sense of humor!
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I think that no one really means to make jokes about religion Polar Bear. If ever there is someone who understands the pain of abuse and self-righteous judgementalism, it is might be the atheist. Not long and long we were burned to death. I have a deep respect for the religion of others, and probably know more about all the world religions than many who practice them, have happily visited the great churches of many many lands, and have loved it. Have read at least two of the great books of faith. I have a deep respect for all the knowledge saved often by the faiths of EVERY religion down through history. Before the printing press they were the only hope.
At 78 I have been in many fox holes including the great cancer foxhole. Never for a moment did I have any belief in anything more than that the tree buds, then blossoms, then withers and falls to nourish the next generation to come.
So I do not consider belief to be really a "choice" but rather something that we do have or we do not have. Almost like a gene for it, or no gene for it. I could no more make myself believe in anything than I could unmake myself if I DID believe. I put no man either up nor down for his faith so long as his faith is one of love, and respect for the faith (or lack of it) of others.
I have known many great leaders of many faiths, and have found them to have a surprising humor. I have known a Catholic priest who comforted Jews in the Concentration (as many Catholic Poles thrown in camps as Jews at the time) camps in the hours of their deaths, and the fact he was a priest was hidden from those who ran the camps, so loved was he. Humor is an interesting thing, and as often based on the hardships and ironies of life as on anything else. Think to doctors and nurses? Theirs is some of the most "uncomfortable" humor you will ever hear (unless you serve in wartime).
I think few means harm. I do not hear the "attacks" you claim on Christianity; I am afraid I often DO hear attacks on other faiths. All faiths are lovely, so long as they don't judge another man by their own beliefs, nor try to control him by their own beliefs. There is the law and there is religion; they best are kept separated, imho. Though not everyone agrees.
And I do have to say, I often find those who espouse great faith to be people who feel the religiosity and self-righteousness allows them to judge another by their own yardsticks. Allows them to judge in place of the master they worship. I don't dislike a whole lot of things, but self-righteousness I find to be fairly unpleasant. And those who sew division. Or hatred. Those to me are the things that are reprehensible. I don't worry about faith at all.
As to what trolls do? I think what trolls do is come to fight, to sew anger and division, to judge, and worst of all to accuse. We all have our own definition of trolls. They are not usually well meaning, generally kind, fun loving and happy people.
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This is a joke thread, so I won't comment further.
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I am with you, Polar Bear. Second thread I have had to exit permanently today. As Monty Python used to say "Now for something COM PLEAT LY different". Wishing all laughs ahead.
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Alva,

I love Monty Python! Funny stuff.
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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.



I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it!
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See, others get called out "is this a joke thread?" but you can run off any direction. Hmmm? Little bit judgmental me thinks.
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It’s October! Halloween season!

Here’s a Halloween joke.

Know why the skeletons are so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin. 😊
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Why don’t mummies relax?

They are afraid to unwind. 😊
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Why do skeletons have low self esteem?

They have no body to love.
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