I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
That was a fantastic and clever addition to the joke - my husband and I both got a kick out of it!!! :)
You can refer back to my reply on August 31st (page 8) regarding my joke posts! :)
The elf-abet.
What did one earthquake say to the other?
"It's not my fault!"
What did one volcano say to the other?
"I lava you."
Don't tick off old people!
The older we get
The less "Life Imprisonment"
Is a deterrent!
Not just that the "Life Imprisonment" is not a deterrent think of the advantages.
You don't have to shop for clothes
"free" healthcare
No bills, gas, electric, mortgage....
You don't have to cook or clean
You can continue your education, not to mention the hobbies and crafts that you can do.
I mean who really wants AI to be in every aspect of our lives?
Oh, wait my generation knows AI as Artificial Insemination not Artificial intelligence. Oops! Whew! I was getting worried.
What's with all the changing acronyms, getting old is hard enough.
making the work day 25/7.
And thanks to the full moon effect, it has become apparent just how little understanding one has about the change in time.
You don't understand it either? Click "like" to agree.
Hahaha, too funny! I was a huge Beatles fan. I also loved them individually. Adored, John but wasn’t a fan of Yoko.
She did inspire John to write good music though. He loved her. Guess that’s what matters the most.
Beatles came to my city, New Orleans when I was nine years old. I begged my parents to go. Tickets were only $4.00. Mom said she didn’t want to be around all the screaming girls. I told her that I wanted to be one of those screaming girls! Hahaha
They played at City Park but I missed it. 🙁 My parents wouldn’t bring me.
Smartphone: Do nothing, it's magic.
Car: Wait six months, it'll be right again.
Microwave: Obtain a degree in electrical engineering.
I read a lot of US books about house design and eco-whatsit, which keeps me up to date on non-metric. My daughters don’t have a clue – I remember one of them asking how deep the water off the end of a jetty, me saying ‘about 12 feet’, her saying ‘what does that mean’. So sad! I’ve forgotten the niceties of Fahrenheit temperature, except that I was one of the kids who did a year 10 chemistry exam in a motor pavilion on a day of 110F, probably more under the iron roof. Kids kept falling sideways fainting. And now I do oven temperatures in Centigrade, too.
My DH is ambidextrous, which ought to encourage me. But in fact it reminds me of someone who told me about bus timetables: ‘They do it to amuse’.
Paul, how do you measure?
She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them."
'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.."
"Well, we have them, and you could have."
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't!"
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Most of my teachers were nuns. I only had a couple of teachers that weren’t nuns. I had very strict teachers.
Answer: Because they don't meet the koalafications!
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
Answer: A tuba toothpaste!
Why is England the wettest country?
Answer: Because the queen has reigned there for years
Today is "selection" day for our president, so I thought I'd send in a few more cute ones. We all need to smile, giggle and laugh a bit more.
It was dead.
My DH one time hurt his dominant hand and was able to switch to alternative hand ten pin bowling successfully!