I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Him: When you're cooking, dont get too close or you might burn yourself.
Me: Thanks for the tip! Want to show me your real skills and finish cooking this for me so I can learn?
Him: ....Nah I'm good.
Him: Dont forget to look back as youre backing up the car.
Me: Dont worry. I only killed 4 people, but nobody saw me.
Him: Oh, alright. Then that's good.
Him: All my friends are dead, I guess I"m the next to go.
Me: Well, what would you like to do before you go?
Him: Nothing...
Me: Then ya better get going!
**I would never say this out of spite. I say this to make him laugh, which he does.**
Therapist taking notes.
Bread:
I miss being the best thing…
SMH!
:)
Man sitting on chair, tied with ropes to the chair.
Duck-tape on his mouth.
Woman sitting on another chair:
That's so sweet. The young couple we met wants to know the secret to our long, successful marriage.
“Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.”
-----
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane."
"I am so depressed I am just going to let my foot hang over my bed and let the monster get it!"
"You know you are not as depressed as you think when you go to write a suicide note that is more than 5 pages long and then you come to realize it isn't a suicide note it's an autobiography slash grocery list."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness."
"Just saying 'No' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day!' cures chronic depression."
"Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother."
"In strange ways some people fall in love with the comfort of their depression."
"I saw a book titled "Anxiety and Depression for Dummies" yesterday in the store... Not sure if it is appropriate to label someone looking for mental help a "dummy"."
"You know you're having a bad day when even the Rice Krispies give you silent treatment."
:)
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“I do not advocate violence. I advocate peace. And then just when my opponent believes me, I punch him in the face.”
bundle of joy :)
(by the way...my real name means peace)
:)
last quote for the day:
"I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger."
:)
"I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you."
--------
"They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?"