I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"I'd rather take coffee than compliments right now."
"That sounds really fun,
but I'm going to be busy
doing not that."
"I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open
looking for answers."
“Love is an inside job.”
"I just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet,
to see which one comes first...
I'll keep you posted."
“Calvin:
I’m at peace with the world. I’m completely serene.
Hobbes:
Why is that?
Calvin:
I discovered my purpose in life. I know why I was put here and why everything exists.
Hobbes:
Oh really?
Calvin:
Yes, I am here so everybody can do what I want.
Hobbes:
It’s nice to have that cleared up.
Calvin:
Once everyone accepts it, they’ll be serene too.”
🙂
"Don't count all your chickens
before they cross the road."
“I don’t mean to brag but I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 12 minutes.”
“How old were you when you learned that the game TAG stands for ‘Touch and Go’?
I was today years old…”
“I want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash.”
“Thoughts and prayers going out to anyone trying on last summer’s shorts.”
“Today is chest and leg day!
—me, ordering at KFC”
“My doctor told me to stop eating chocolate, so it’s going to be a big change for me. I’ve been with that doctor for nearly 20 years.”
“About 4 minutes into my run, I decided I want to work on my personality instead.”
"UNSTOPPABLE
if only I could get started."
"Never too late
for another bad decision."
"Hang on.
Let me overshare this."
"My disappointment
is disappointed."
"I can totally keep secrets.
It's the people I tell them to who can't."
"Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow."
"Don't interrupt me while I'm in the middle of nothing."
"100% of people who use statistics in casual conversations are annoying."
"This will all make sense after coffee."
You may get the wrong half
"Sometimes getting out of bed
just ruins the whole day."
"Someday you'll go far,
and I hope you stay there."
"I'm still waiting for that fairy-tale scene
where the animals clean everything for me."
"I ate a donut without sprinkles.
Diets are hard."