I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Fortune-teller looking into a crystal ball. A man sitting opposite her.
Fortune-teller:
I see you will waste your entire life on video games. And yes, you will eventually unlock the game's secret level.
Man, excited:
Yes!"
"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller."
"I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better."
"I found
this
humerus."
"Happiness
is
...when you're having a bad day
and it suddenly starts to rain cupcakes."
"Everyone love me.
I'm a cupcake."
“Sometimes I make words up to sound more smartaculous.”
“I feel like my greatest
accomplishment today
has been not saying what
I’m thinking out loud.”
“Turning vegan would be
a big
missed steak.”
“Have you ever spent too much time arguing with someone before it dawned on you that they have the IQ of a crayon?”
"Where there's a whisk, there's a way."
"Proud to lick cake bowls."
"Some people say I'm condescending.
That means I talk down to people."
"That awkward moment when someone's zipper is down
but you don't know whether to tell,
because you can't explain why
you were looking down there."
"Cookie dough can be baked???"
"Diets (noun):
a criminal waste of chocolate."
"They say if you love someone, set them free.
Does that mean if you hate someone,
you should chain them up in your basement?"
"If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?"
"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot."
“Whenever I see a dog at a party:
Finally! Someone I can talk to!”
I can send and receive messages. It’s strange.
"Getting a dog will not solve all your emotional problems.
For that you need four dogs."
"I'm sorry
I remembered your dog's name
but forgot yours."
“You’re pawesome!”
“Paws for a second, and enjoy Sunday!”
you’re right, isthisrealyreal.
"I don’t know who needs to hear this, but
it’s OK and you’re going to be just fine."