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❤️🙂

"Fortune-teller looking into a crystal ball. A man sitting opposite her.

Fortune-teller:
I see you will waste your entire life on video games. And yes, you will eventually unlock the game's secret level.

Man, excited:
Yes!"
(2)
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❤️🙂

"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller."
(3)
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🙂

"I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better."
(2)
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🦴

"I found
this
humerus."
(1)
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❤️🧁🧁🧁

"Happiness
is
...when you're having a bad day
and it suddenly starts to rain cupcakes."
(1)
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❤️🧁🧁🧁

"Everyone love me.
I'm a cupcake."
(1)
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❤️

“Sometimes I make words up to sound more smartaculous.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“I feel like my greatest
accomplishment today
has been not saying what
I’m thinking out loud.”
(2)
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🙂

“Turning vegan would be
a big
missed steak.”
(3)
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😉

“Have you ever spent too much time arguing with someone before it dawned on you that they have the IQ of a crayon?”
(4)
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🧑‍🍳

"Where there's a whisk, there's a way."
(2)
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😋

"Proud to lick cake bowls."
(2)
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🙂

"Some people say I'm condescending.
That means I talk down to people."
(3)
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🙂...

"That awkward moment when someone's zipper is down
but you don't know whether to tell,
because you can't explain why
you were looking down there."
(3)
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😲

"Cookie dough can be baked???"
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Diets (noun):
a criminal waste of chocolate."
(2)
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😇

"They say if you love someone, set them free.
Does that mean if you hate someone,
you should chain them up in your basement?"
(4)
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🙂

"If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?"
(3)
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❤️🙂 mondayyyy is back

"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot."
(3)
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❤️🙂

“Whenever I see a dog at a party:
Finally! Someone I can talk to!”
(2)
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"Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life??" 🙂🙂
(3)
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Just checking to see if I can post a question. I still can’t post on the forum.

I can send and receive messages. It’s strange.
(0)
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❤️🙂🐾

"Getting a dog will not solve all your emotional problems.
For that you need four dogs."
(1)
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🙂

"I'm sorry
I remembered your dog's name
but forgot yours."
(1)
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Lost count of how many.
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❤️🙂🐾 ok, but put your paws up in the air if you need to hear this:

“You’re pawesome!”

“Paws for a second, and enjoy Sunday!”
(1)
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❤️🙂
you’re right, isthisrealyreal.
(0)
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BOJ, I am sorry but, nobody needs to hear that 40 or so Cadbury eggs are enough. Nope, nobody needs to hear that ;-)
(4)
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Thank you Bundle.I needed that~
(3)
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❤️

"I don’t know who needs to hear this, but
it’s OK and you’re going to be just fine."
(4)
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