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❤️🐾

“Tell your dog
I said hi.”
(2)
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❤️🐾

🐈
“I want to spend all 9 lives with you.”
(2)
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🦴🐾❤️ =
“EAT PLAY LOVE”
(2)
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😉

“Sleep is for people without access to the internet…”
(2)
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😉

"Not all patients are annoying.
Some are unconscious."
(1)
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Law enforcement stopped a bus, S.W.A.T. was deployed, helicopters were circling....
BTW, the suspect was unconscious.
(3)
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🙂 creating a password…

🙂 Please enter your new password:
"cabbage"

Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
"boiled cabbage"

Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
“1 boiled cabbage"

Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. "50bloodyboiledcabbages"

Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. "50BLOODYboiledcabbages"

Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. "50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessnow”

Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. “ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessnow”

Sorry, that password is already in use!
(5)
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❤️

“Such short, little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.”
(1)
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❤️🐕

“First he stole my heart, then he stole my bed.”
(1)
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“The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking, you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.”
– Julia Child
(4)
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😉

"As it turns out, 93% of my personality was coffee."
(3)
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❤️

"Those who teach the most about humanity
aren't always human."
(4)
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🙂

"Dogs never bite me.
Just humans."
(3)
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❤️ let’s all have a GREAT day, today

☕️☕️
“It’s a brew-tiful day!”
(1)
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🙂

“NO JOKE.
I’m serious.”
(1)
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🙃

“Dog looking at owner:
Do you honestly think I don’t know what V-E-T spells?”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Stealing someone’s coffee is called mugging.”
(2)
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BoJ, this:

"I don't care who dies in a movie
as long as the dog lives."

... is not in fact a joke, and explains the single but sufficient reason for John Wick's being a hero instead of just an unusually alarming psychopath.
(3)
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❤️

"It feels good to be lost in the right direction."
(1)
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❤️🙂

A butterfly is driving a car. He’s stopped by a police officer, and hands the officer his licence.

The officer stares and stares at the licence.

Butterfly:
“That’s an old photo.”

——
(It’s a picture of a caterpillar.)
(3)
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❤️🙂

Just a general update:
hungry again.
(0)
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😘😘

“I can help you find your marbles.”
(2)
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🙂

"My rescue dog saved me."
(1)
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"Don't ask me.
🙂
The dog's in charge."
(0)
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😉

"I don't care who dies in a movie
as long as the dog lives."
(2)
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🙂

"The dog lets me live here."
(2)
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❤️

"I gave a dog my heart.
It's yet to be broken."
(2)
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❤️

X: I love you.
Y: Do you have evidence to support your statement?
(2)
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😤😡🤯😢😣🤔😡🥺😜🥰 = “Just a normal day on the internet”
(3)
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😉

"I hope
you drop your phone in the toilet."
(2)
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