I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"I hope you fall down with your hands in your pockets."
"Everyone is gifted, but some
people never open their package."
"If you're feeling blue -
try painting yourself a different color."
I will be disappearing next week .
Going on an island vacation to Aruba. Saved up a long time for it . We can’t wait 🏖️🏝️🌊☀️🐚.
DH and I plan on disconnecting from the world for the week !!
i keep meaning to disappear, and then i keep appearing.
anyway, i really will soon disappear a while.
why?
many chocolate eggs to finish, and can't type at the same time.
way, i do make some up. but the ones that are in quotation marks, are truly quotes, that's why they're in quotation marks. the jokes don't come from any particular place/website/book/etc. i'm just verrrrry good at finding things.
for eggs-ample, guess what i just found next to me??? more chocolate eggs. now if i could just find a billion dollars somewhere, lying around.
AWW . Thanks , hugs back to you.
You are so funny ! 🤪🤪🤪
Do you make up these jokes your self??
I look for them everyday now especially if I don’t want to get out of bed .
Lol. 😂😂😂🤣
❤️🙂❤️🙂
hug!!
(by the way, Way2tired, i'm so used to giving easter hugs, i'm not too sure what a normal hug looks like, but anyway, hug!!)
🙂
When my daughter was little she had spiral curly unruly hair . She didn’t want her hair touched. I would run after her trying to get her to let me brush her hair and tie it up neat with an elastic hair tie .
I used to say to her “ don’t you want to look pretty ?” to try to get her to let me fix her hair .
She’s now 26 , To this day she calls hair ties….. “ pretties”. That is what she thought they were called . 🤦♀️
"I miss being a kid.
My only responsibilities were running around and laughing a lot.
And someone else was in charge of my hair."
Note on the kitchen table:
"I just spent 1.5 hours cleaning the kitchen.
If you mess it up...
I WILL CUT YOU.
love, love, love, kisses,
Mom"
"I wish I could illegally download clothes."
😉
it's morning here, and what's come completely out of the blue, is that i can't think of a single funny thing to say.
“I just found out I’m colorblind.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.”
“I do many things well,
none of which generate income.”
“If a woman speaks and no one is listening
her name is probably Mom.”
“I don’t regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren’t on those bridges when I burnt them.”
“Office.
Boss at her desk.
A man in a suit, with a briefcase, facing her.
Boss:
It was a purely professional decision, Harris. I hope my firing you won’t affect our marriage in any way.”
"I don't need a 'previously on...'
I've been watching this show for 9 hours straight."
"How has nobody settled for me yet
I'm a solid 3."
"My body just asked for water and I gave it a mini donut because nobody tells me what to do."
"I hate it when Netflix pauses and asks if I'm still watching, like yeah, do you think I actually got up and started doing something with my life?"
“Keep calm
&
nope...
lost it.”
“Keep calm
&
Easter on.”
“What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
Sneakers.”
"Therapist in armchair, taking notes.
The Grim Reaper lying on a couch.
Therapist:
Let's explore this feeling that people are trying to cheat you."
"A wolf on a couch, with a surprised look.
Therapist in armchair, taking notes:
I understand your motive for eating the grandmother, but why did you feel you needed to dress in her clothes?"
"A woman sitting on a couch. There are also two dogs on the couch.
The woman, with a huge smile, says to the dogs:
Where would I be without you two? You're my best friends. You listen to all my troubles, you comfort me when I'm down, you give me unconditional love and cuddles. Just a few minutes with you and my problems disappear and I'm happy again!
One dog, lying on its back in despair, says to the other dog:
We should be charging her Felix.
The other dog replies, covering his face:
Totally."