Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
❤️ "i love you", "i love you", yeah, yeah...

"Here, take my last piece of bacon,"
said no one
ever.
(3)
Report

😉

Husband & wife went for divorce in court.

Judge:
You have 3 kids. How will you divide them?

They had a long discussion, then they say to the judge:
Ok, sir. We'll come next year with 1 more.
😂😂


The joke doesn't end here...
9 months later...They got twins.
(3)
Report

🙂🙂🙂

"Way too egg-cited about this holiday."
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

"Not decorating eggs today?
Yolk's on you."
(2)
Report

😉

"Too many people are walking around unmedicated,
unsupervised and affecting my life."
(2)
Report

😉

"What time do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn!"
(3)
Report

🙄🤔

"If poison reaches its expiry date
would it be - more - poisonous
or - less - poisonous?
Asking for a, emmm, friend."
(2)
Report

thanks, isthisrealyreal. so glad it made you laugh! ❤️🙂
(0)
Report

Boj, the romantic movie made me laugh out loud, as do many of the jokes you share.

Hugs, funny lady!
(3)
Report

❤️

A man on the couch, totally tied up; and mouth duct-taped. Face red.
The TV is in front.

His wife, with a very happy smile, on the phone:
"Oh, hi Dave. No, Roger's decided to give the pub a miss tonight
and watch a romantic movie with me instead."
(2)
Report

🙂

"Some days, I look back on my life
and I'm Extremely Impressed I'm still ALIVE!"
(3)
Report

❤️🙂

A farm. The farmer wants to plow the field.
An ox is sitting happily and comfortably - in - a cart that's laying still.
The ox says to the farmer:
"This is terribly nice...what makes it go?"

-----

oxymoron
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

E.T. in despair, looking at a document:
Phone bill
(3)
Report

❤️🙂

A stressed-out, unhappy bunny couple at couple's therapy.
Therapist is taking notes.

Mrs. Bunny says:
"I want 238 children, but he only wants 96."
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

At the police station.
A chicken is weeping, with a handkerchief.
A police officer is drawing the image of a bunny with a basket.

Another police officer comforts the chicken:
"We'll find your babies, ma'am. But you'll have to calm down and finish giving us the perp's description first."
(3)
Report

❤️🙂

The Easter Bunny's basket has a big bag of sugar.
On the basket it's written: "The Easter Bunny plans to simplify things next year."
(2)
Report

Way2tired, yup hear ya.
Hosting for the kidults.
Bringing to older gen.

What can you change up? To lighten your load? Provide afternoon tea & order in dinner instead?
(2)
Report

So my son and daughter in law asked "what we were doing for Easter''.

We had not really thought about it , dealing with visiting FIL in hospital/rehab and now just getting back to AL, plus visiting my sister in rehab as well.

When they asked that question...I thought they were seeing if hubby and I were free on Easter. I thought maybe they were going to invite us over since they have moved out of their apartment into a house.

Turns out they were really asking... What I WAS PLANNING for Easter. They had assumed I was hosting as usual. :P
(5)
Report

How come I had to fill out a long form, have references, and be interviewed to see if I would be a good cat mom...

But I could become a mom to two humans no questions asked?
(3)
Report

This isn’t really a joke, but it might make you all smile. DH and I are early risers, and until our Southern Hemisphere daylight saving ended a week ago, we were breakfasting while looking out of a window in the dawn light. We had regular kangaroos in the paddock outside the farmhouse – often 8 or 10 roos with the odd joey hopping in and out of the pouch.

After the clocks changed, the roos disappeared. I thought a couple of times ‘I wonder why they didn’t like the clocks changing’. Then after a week I kicked myself for overlooking the obvious – they were still there, but when we were still in bed! Duh! Getting older doesn't help the brain!

I’ll miss the roos when we go back to Alice Springs in a few days. We have much more down south in our forest.
(6)
Report

❤️🙂

"Just FYI -

I am out of the
medicine that makes me like you..."
(3)
Report

❤️🙂

3 words 8 letters.

"I got food"
(3)
Report

😉

"Imagine if sharks could run on the beach."
(3)
Report

❤️🙂

"Roses are red.
I need a cat."
(4)
Report

❤️🙂

"Sometimes I wonder how many spiders are hiding in my room."
(2)
Report

🙂

"Are you really living life...
Or are you just paying bills until you die?"
(2)
Report

❤️🙂 slogan on a covid mask...

"Please keep your distance if
you are not good for my mental health."
(2)
Report

🙂

"Current emotion:
I need money."
(2)
Report

❤️ Calvin & Hobbes

Calvin: Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
(1)
Report

❤️

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research
to finding a cure for jerks."
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter