I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Calvin: You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.
Hobbes: That's why animals are so soft and huggy.
"Love, freedom & chocolate.
The three pillars of civilization..."
"I don't know about you, but
I have thought about running away from home
way more often as an adult
than I ever did as a kid."
Some eggs attending a funeral.
The pastor (also an egg) givers a somber speech.
The eggs are weeping.
A colorful egg is in a casket. He keeps saying:
For the last time, everybody, I've only dyed! DYED!
Some bunnies watching the Easter Bunny run off happily with his basket and eggs into the forest.
One bunny says to the other bunnies:
Who knew the most successful classmate would be the guy who majored in basket weaving?
Man: Do you guys have an Easter egg hunt at home?
Another man: Sort of. We don't have kids, so my wife hides beers for me to find.
Man: Wow. Does she have a sister?
What did Miss Bunny say to the Easter Bunny when he left the house with his basket?
Break an egg!
🙂
"I'll get over it.
I just need to be dramatic first."
"That was extraordinary.
Unfortunately,
extraordinarily bad."
“2023 is a unique year.
It has 28 days in February,
300 days in March
and 5 years in April.”
What starts with “p” and ends with “orn”?
popcorn
(don’t tell me you were thinking of something else)
"Do you ever look at your pet and just like,
how are you real? How is this level of cuteness even possible?
Have you seen your own tiny paws?"
"Need to find something fun to order online
to ensure my will to live lasts at least 5-7 more business days."
"According to the latest studies,
the average human body is 20% water and 80% stress."
"No sweetie,
you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast,
that's not healthy,
also mommy ate it for dinner last night."
"Don't put all my eggs into one basket?
Nice try, basket industry. I'm on to your marketing scam..."
Therapist to patient:
"You lost your job, you wrecked your car, the bank took your house and your wife left you. But you can't let one bad day ruin your whole week!"
"I don't know if it's burnout, but I set off the smoke alarm 6 times today!"
"You know you're really stressed
when you start getting on your own nerves."
"Me wondering if I should
go back to work tomorrow or walk directly into the middle of the ocean."
"My inner child is
demanding to speak directly to my therapist."
Therapist:
This week, I want you to focus on surrounding yourself with things you love.
Me:
*goes home & rolls around in frosting and sprinkles*
"Therapy has taught me
that it's all your fault."
Please wait...
Brain.exe is loading.
"Has a degree, a Masters and a nice paying job.
Needs to sing the alphabet to remember where J goes."
"The brain is the most important organ you have
ACCORDING TO THE BRAIN."
Unfortunately, this is how the brain works:
Brain cell:
"Sir! We are receiving information that conflicts with the core belief system!"
Another brain cell:
"Get rid of it."
The flood. Noah's ark. All the animals staring at the rain, in a bad mood.
On a 40-day rainy cruise, Noah was forced to become a couples therapist.
Another therapist taking notes in an armchair.
A dog lying on a couch:
"I dunno, maybe deep down I - want - to bark up the wrong tree."
A man lying on a couch.
A therapist sitting in an armchair.
The therapist says to the man:
"Well John, in the past 2 years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done."