I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Another therapist taking notes in an armchair.
A Care Bear lying on a couch:
"Not only do I no longer care, doc...I don't really give a **%&$·**/%!!** anymore..."
Another therapist taking notes in an armchair.
A man lying on a couch, after handing the therapist a document:
"My wife gave me this list of character flaws she wants you to fix."
A therapist taking notes in an armchair.
A sad leech lying on a couch:
"Anyone I get attached to just freaks out and tries to scrape me off!"
❤️🙂
since it brings back a lot of memories for people, here are the lyrics:
You put your right foot in
You put your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
You put your left foot in
You put your left foot out
You put your left foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
You put your right hand in
You put your right hand out
You put your right hand in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
You put your left hand in
You put your left hand out
You put your left hand in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
You put your right leg in
You put your right leg out
You put your right leg in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
You put your left leg in
You put your left leg out
You put your left leg in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
You put your whole self in
You put your whole self out
You put your whole self in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about!
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
I'll do the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about!
❤️🙂
(now let's all, around the world on this forum, wiggle our arms and legs; doing a huge Hokey Pokey together)
"When life knocks me down
I usually lie there & take a nap."
"I named my dog "5 miles"
so I can tell people I walk "5 miles" every day."
“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance,
everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.”
"My fashion philosophy is
if you're not covered in dog hair, you're doing it wrong."
"The only PERSON who understands me
is my dog."
"What if the 'Hokey Pokey'
IS
what it's all about?..."
Today is "Everything Sucks" Day
We might continue festivities tomorrow.
"I'm tired of this day.
I need a new one."
"Some days should come with a warning label:
Today is going to s***ck, so bring alcohol."
"Don't take this the wrong way but...
I always want to be naked when I'm around you."
"I don't want to end the year on bad terms with anyone...
so apologize to me."
"Due to my remarkable negotiation skills,
I always get my way."
to get get on an airplane
"I'm at a really low point right now.
But the good news is that the worst is still ahead."
"VEGETARIANS!
Stop eating my food's food."
"What do you call a bee that is hard to understand?
A mumble bee."
"I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me."
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
“I’ve always been afraid of gardening. But then I decided to grow a pear.”
"EXPERIMENTAL DANDELION FARM
Do not disturb weeds."
"GARDENING
It comes in handy when
you need to hide the bodies."
😞 "Also, I am not a good driver."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Let the nagging begin."
"There's a new yoga pose for people our age...
downward facing nap."
"My brain
is giving me the silent treatment today!"