I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“While in the shower:
2% - washing
8% - singing
90% - winning fake arguments.”
“I’ll totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo.”
"I do my best proofreading after I hit send.”
“APPARENTLY
you have to eat healthy more than once to get in shape. This is cruel and unfair.”
I have started buying ziplock bags in bulk instead of replacing storage containers.
"When my hair looks good:
3% - at work
7% - at home
90% - RIGHT BEFORE I'm about to shower."
"And then the humidity said
TODAY I'LL
make you look like the Lion King."
"Ultimately...
I hope that wherever my hair ties, loner socks & tupperware lids go they're happy
that's all that matters."
Your hair ties are hiding out with your loner socks!
"I hope that wherever my hair ties go they're happy
that's all that matters."
"Me (sobbing):
I can't see you anymore, I won't let you hurt me again.
Trainer:
It was a sit-up. You did one sit-up."
"If your coffee order is more than 4 words
you're part of the problem."
"I'm just here to
establish an alibi."
"I have a happy personality
with a heavy soul.
Sometimes, it gets weird."
"You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution.
So act like it."
"Today is the day
that I do everything tomorrow!"
“It’s the job that’s never started that takes the longest to finish.”
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'”
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.”
I was invited to a wedding where it was written on two doors:
1. Brides relatives
2. Grooms relatives
When I entered Groom’s relative door there were two more doors.
1. Ladies
2. Gentlemen
Went through the Ladies and found two more doors.
* People with gifts
* People without gifts
I went through the door where it was written people without gifts and found myself outside the hotel through the back door. 😂🤣
Who invented hugs??
I mean the 1st hug would have been soooo awkward.
"What are you doing, why are you grabbing me?"
"Shhhh just trust me."
"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable
like a coma."
"Be yourself.
Somewhere else."
"Should I put on my fancy pants or my smarty pants today?"
"Be a goal digger!"
"Don’t surround yourself with negativity. Surround yourself with food instead."
"Eagles may be able to soar high, but chickens never get caught in airplane engines."