I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"I wish I were
the person I thought I'd be when I bought all these veggies."
"Do you remember the days when people were smarter than their phones?"
"Raise your hand
if you think the whole world has gone crazy."
"My sprit animal is
a grumpy cat, who slaps annoying people."
Cat, looking at the empty bowl and then at the owner:
"What part of 'meow' don't you understand?"
"Therapist:
It seems like you fall in love too easily.
Me:
What babe?"
"I have NEVER
faked a sarcasm in my life."
"I just can't help it...
I'm even a bad influence on myself!"
"If you see me talking to myself, don't be alarmed.
I'm getting expert advice."
"My circle is so small, I started talking to myself."
"Today's Tuesday, also known as Monday Part 2.
Coffee, lots of coffee, please."
"I really hope my life doesn't flash before my eyes when I die.
There's some s****it I'd rather not see again."
"I'm going to be real pissed if I get my s****it together
and the world ends."
"Adult female friendships are mostly
sending messages and helping diagnose sociopaths in each other's lives."
"I wonder if clouds ever look down on us
and say, 'Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot.'"
"Forget about the zombie apocalypse that will never come...
Worry about the idiot apocalypse that's already upon us."
"It's OK if you fall apart sometimes.
Tacos fall apart
and we still love them."
"Based on my calculations,
I can retire about 5 years after I die."
"I don't know who needs to hear this right now.
But if you're going through a rough time...
don't cut your bangs."
"Be someone who makes you happy."
"May March 2023 be the plot twist you've been waiting for."
How to tell someone you hate them politely.
"You're the Monday of my life."
"Here's to Monday! Would you like cream, sugar or valium in your coffee?"
☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
"Can I please have a Monday-sized coffee to go?"
"It's been Monday
all week long."
"Monday...
It's like a terrible movie...
with sequels."
"REMEMBER to:
seize each day...
and squeeze every bit of napping from it
and those treats won't eat themselves!"
--cat motivational speaker
"Start the day with a brisk walk is what I say.
Start the day with a brisk nap is what I do."
"Is it just me?
Or do idiots multiply quicker than normal people?"
"If you're single, have some patience.
Your soulmate is almost done with those divorce papers."