Follow
Share
Read More
❤️🙂

"I'm a social vegan.
I avoid meet."
(2)
Report

No man has ever won a game of "Notice anything different about me?"
(3)
Report

Love may be blind but marriage is a complete eye opener.
(4)
Report

What would it take for a man to put down the toilet seat? A sex change operation.
(2)
Report

Please cancel my subscription to your issues
(4)
Report

🙄🍪

"I'm into fitness
Fitness cookie into my mouth!"
(3)
Report

❤️🙂🍪

"Holy Chip!"
(3)
Report

❤️ true story...

"If we are what we eat...
Well, I am awfully sweet."
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

"I didn't want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies."
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

"I teach smart cookies."
(1)
Report

@bundleofjoy

So I'm not Catholic but I gave up a few things for lent: cookies, cake, candy. Your joke just reminded me of what I'm missing. Thanks alot! LOL
🍪🍰🥞

“You’re a smart cookie,
a wise chocolate cake,
a brilliant pancake.”
(4)
Report

🍪🍰🥞

“You’re a smart cookie,
a wise chocolate cake,
a brilliant pancake.”
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

"It's been 'one of those days' for like, 3 years now."
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

"If I manage to survive the rest of the week
I'd like my straight jacket in hot pink & my helmet to sparkle."
(1)
Report

🙄

"It's all fun & games until Monday rolls around and you have to put a bra back on."
(2)
Report

🥴 i've started painting...

"The Monday Lisa"
(2)
Report

🙄 9:21 am

"Is it normal to be thinking about wine at this time on a Monday?
Asking for a friend."
(1)
Report

🤮 9:18 am

"Is Monday over yet??"
(1)
Report

🙄 me, reading a newspaper...

“It says here that you should greet Monday with a smile."
(1)
Report

☎️☎️☎️

"Hello, Emergency?
I need to report a theft.
Someone stole my weekend...
I last saw it on Friday...
I turned around & POOF it was gone!"
(3)
Report

🥴☕☕☕

"But first,
champagne.

I mean, coffee...
It's Monday."
(1)
Report

❤️🙂 professional tips...

“How to get through a Monday:
1. Fill a bucket with chocolate mousse.
2. Place bucket over head.
3. Wait till Tuesday."
(1)
Report

🙄

“Monday again?? Is this really necessary?"
(1)
Report

🤮🤯😡 mondayyyyy

"All right...
Who pushed the fast forward button my weekend?"
(1)
Report

🙄

“My mind is more talkative than my mouth.”
(1)
Report

❤️🙂 5 march…

“I have met my quota for stupid people this year.
I am no longer taking applications.
Thank you.”
(3)
Report

🙂

"I'll be saving my resolution for 2024.
I think I want to be an a*****ole for 1 more year."
(1)
Report

🙂

"I'm in a really good place spiritually.
So, please f****k off."
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

"I am 200% done with today.
And about 37% done with tomorrow."
(4)
Report

🙂

"Laughter is the best medicine.




Unless you have diarrhea."
(2)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter