I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Everything has been figured out, except how to live."
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
The bartender asks the rabbit "What'll you have".
The rabbit replies "I have no idea. I am only here because of AutoCorrect."
So that accountants would have someone to laugh at.
Accident victim: “My family already knows my name.”
have been walking?
"Life has its ups and downs...
We call them squats."
"How to hug a porcupine:
in other words, the difficult people in your life."
"Be careful how you're talking to yourself
because you're listening."
"Wake up beauty
it's time to beast."
"LIFE
is all about how you handle Plan B."
"Sorry I'm late.
I got attacked by elves."
"ABRACADABRA
Nope, you're still here."
"Probably late for something."
"Not bossy.
Aggressively helpful."
Dad, there is a small get-together tomorrow at school...please come...
Dad:
What do you mean by small??
Son:
Only you, me, and the principal..."
"If idiots could fly
this place would be an airport."
"Does anyone else get the random urge to get your life together in the middle of the night???"
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
"I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain."
"I'm so poor I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle."
"I doubt,
therefore I might be."
"I have the best taste in clothes.
I'm just too poor to prove it."
“Love means never having to say sorry I ate your waffle.”
“Life is too short to wonder where you hid your waffle maker.”
“Forget your sign. What’s your favorite waffle topping?”
“I like my friends a waffle lot.”
NOT Elizabeth."
"In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale."