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“…My sarcasm and my sincerity sound surprisingly similar.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“Interviewer:
So, tell me about yourself.

Me:
I’d rather not. I really want this job.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“What does not kill you
will likely try again.”
(3)
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🙂🙂🙂

List of things I’m handling well currently:
1.
(3)
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😉

"My life is
just a series
of awkward
- and -
humiliating moments
separated by
SNACKS."
(3)
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❤️😉

"Plan B is firing whoever came up with Plan A."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"I'm good enough at making excuses
that I don't need to be good at anything else!"
(3)
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❤️😉

"Have you tried dwelling on it forever?"
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Have you seen a squirrel crossing the streets? Yeah right, my decision-making skills resemble it."
(4)
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😉

"Surround yourself with tacos, not negativity."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"This morning's coffee 
brought to you by

here we f****g go again."
(5)
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A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit, "What will you have?"
The rabbit says: "I don't know, I am just here because of autocorrect".
(4)
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Margaret,

I read that children’s book to my daughters a bazillion times. It always made me smile 😊.

We donated several books but there were a few that I kept. That was one I kept!

Thanks for the smile 😊.

The Little Engine That Could

Watty Piper
(3)
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I needed something cheerful, and looked this up. Various versions, but this is the one we sung in my childhood.

I met an engine on the track,
All hot and heavy hearted,
And this is what he said to me
As up the hill he started:
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!
At any rate I'll try it.

He reached the top and looking back
To where he first had doubted.
He started on the downward track
And this is what he shouted:
I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could!
My friend, you should have known it.
(6)
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😉

"Nope...Still don't care.
Try again tomorrow."
(1)
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❤️

"Let's all take a moment
to be thankful
I don't have the power
to turn people
into frogs."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Guess who got a lot done today???
Not me.
But congratulations
to someone out there."
(2)
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❤️

"Dear life,
I don't want to go through things that don't kill me and make me stronger anymore. Thanks for your understanding."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Sesame Street didn't prepare me for any of this."
(4)
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❤️🙂

"I think you can make this year great!"
---2023 motivational penguin 🐧
(0)
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🐧🙂

"Keep calm
&
love penguins."
(1)
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🐧🙂

"Penguins can't fly.
I can't fly.
Therefore I'm a penguin."
(2)
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❤️🙂

🐧 "It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry."
(2)
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❤️

"When life throws you a curveball,
hit it out of the park!!!"
(2)
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❤️🙂 

"When life throws you a burger
eat it."
(2)
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❤️🙂 

"Morning (noun):
The time when the bed has more gravity."
(3)
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"Apologizing in advance for the things I say this winter."
(1)
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"Hibernation mode: On."
(2)
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❤️🙂 

"I just did a video chat with my grandma and I'm happy to report
the top of her head is doing great."
(2)
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😉

"I spent 4 years in college.
I didn't learn a thing.

It was really my own fault.
I had a double major
in psychology and reverse psychology."
(4)
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