I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"It's OK for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up. But when I do it I'm anti-social."
A couple at the office:
THE IRS
Husband says to the wife, "Like the sign says...it's all THEIRS."
🐕:
I saw all your clothes were clean so I put my fur on them.
Oh and that hair you just swallowed? Yeah I'm inside of you now.
"Stop giving CPR to dead situations."
"Please invite happiness to sit at your table too."
My cat:
What do you mean, we're getting a dog????
"Never argue with a statistician. They can be mean."
"I didn't mean to push all your buttons. I was just looking for mute."
🐈🐕
"dogs can't operate mri scanners.
but catscan."
"Next week
has been exhausting."
"Keep palm and carry on."
"Are you oakay? Yes, I'm pine. Why woodn't I be?"
"I've got my thinking cat on."
"etc.
end of thinking capacity."
"If you're reading this
it's too late.
I already sent good vibes your way.
They're coming. There's nothing you
can do to stop them."
"Terms & Conditions (noun):
We could write literally anything here and you wouldn't read it so we decided not to bother."
"One minute you're really young and cool...
and the next, you're getting all excited about a new vacuum cleaner."
"My best fiction writing is my daily to-do list."
"I can't afford to hate anyone, I don't have that kind of time."
"Pink Panther's to-do list:
- to do
- to do
- to do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo"
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
"Watches Netflix happily. Remembers you need to DO the to-do list. Watches Netflix stressfully."
"I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“[normal life] I’ve worn the same shirt every day for a week. [packing for a vacation] Hmm. I’ll prob change a few times a day so that’s…32 shirts.”
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone?”
“Vacation resort rule #1: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever. ”
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”