I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too."
"Diet (noun):
the first three letters tell you all you need to know."
"Today is a multiple cups of coffee kind of day."
"Let's just say I'm having a good hare day."
"A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself."
❤️🙂
“Life is too short to be reading quotes about life being too short. Stop reading and go live your life!”
“Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.”
"Have your ninjas talk to my ninjas."
"no one showed up." - RD
I called a temp agency looking for work, and they asked if I had any phone
skills. I said, “I called you, didn’t I?”
: Because the dog was after his bones..
"OK...I just had a talk with myself, and things didn't go well. Now I'm GROUNDED!"
"I know it's ruff out there."
"On average
I spend about $80 a year to watch
bananas turn brown."
"If I throw a stick
will you go away?"
"I just sold a lawnmower on Craigslist...
That's the last time my neighbour is going to wake up on a Saturday morning."
"You know what would look great on you?
Cement."
"Just burned 2,000
calories trying to avoid
someone I know at
Walmart."
Deep Creek, Stony Creek, Salt Creek, Dry Creek (most of them dry in the summer).
Frosty Hollow, Windy Ridge, Razorback Road, Sandy Lane (great until you live there and find it’s all true).
Chinaman’s Well, Chinaman’s Creek (Chinese market gardeners often made more money selling veges to miners than the miners made in the 1890s gold rush).
‘Once upon a time’ names like Seaview Road and Forest Drive (not these days).
Mosquito Swamp Road (genuine, and they’ve never put a housing development there).
And my favorite – the Church-based Nursing Home development in a cul-de-sac for which they lobbied the Council to change the name – St Peter’s Close was a bit off-putting!
I’d love to hear some more. Perhaps the US has fewer Dry Creeks, but other interesting options.
"The best ab exercise
is 5 sets of stop eating
so much crap."
"Things to keep private:
1. Everything"
"Three stages of life:
1. Birth
2. What is this???
3. Death"
"The world is not full of a****oles, but they are strategically placed
so that
you'll come across one every day.
Every. F***g. Day."
"As the day goes on, co-workers start appearing more flammable."
"If my life were narrated.
X: How are things?
Me: Things are good!
[Narrator: Things were not good.]"
Reactions:
Listening to lyrics:
"Incredible...so meaningful. So deep. So poignant.
Such a POET. These words understand my SOUL."
Reading lyrics:
"This is very stupid."
"I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I'm thinking out loud."
"Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered...
'Who ties your shoelaces for you?'"