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❤️

"You really should not have told me to dance like nobody's watching."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same."
(2)
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😉

“Only when a mosquito lands
on your testicles...

...do you truly learn to solve
problems without violence."
(1)
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😉

“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

"It's bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips."
(4)
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❤️🙂

"Do you ever get that sudden outburst of motivation to go and make your life better, then after 5 minutes you're like... 'Yeah, that's not happening ;).'"
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Getting older is just one body part after another saying, 'Ha, ha, you think that's bad? Watch this.'"
(1)
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❤️🙂

"I really hate it when the voices in my head argue among themselves as though I wasn't even in the room."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"The best things in life are free.
The second best are very expensive."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Our generation will be the weirdest grandparents."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"I don't know why
people say such hurtful
things like... 'Let's go for
a run!' or 'Try this kale.'"
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Always trust your gut.

Your brain can be fooled
and your heart is an
idiot, but your gut
doesn't know how to lie."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"We interrupt your happiness to bring you Monday. Your regularly scheduled happiness will resume on Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience!"
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Just stop talking.
Whatever you have to
say can wait until
you're smarter."
(3)
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❤️🙂 7 am...

"I've dealt with enough idiots for the day.
I need a nap."
(1)
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🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈

😉 "When petting cats...
be sure not to activate their murder button."
(2)
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"With this coffee ☕
and many, many refills...☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
I shall overcome Monday!!"
(1)
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❤️🙂

What Da Vinci should have painted...
"The Monday Lisa"
(2)
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🪟🪟🪟🙄🙄🙄

“A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.”
(2)
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❤️

“Before you reach the top of the ladder, make sure it’s leaning against the right wall.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

"YOU CAN.
End of story."
(1)
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🤯

"Want to hear a scary story?
Tomorrow's Monday."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Long story short..........
I need 1 million dollars."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"I waved to a man because I thought he waved at me. Apparently he waved to another woman. So to get out of the awkward situation I kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over and drove me to the airport. I am now in Poland starting a new life."
(6)
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❤️😉

"My to-do list from today seems to consist of everything from my to-do list yesterday."
(6)
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❤️🙂

X:
I'm so MAD at you!!!!! 😡🤯🤮🤮🤮🤮

Y:
But do you still love me?

X:
Yes!

Y:
Good.
(2)
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Does anyone know?

If you are from Poland you are a Pole. Correct?


Does that mean if you are from Holland you are a Hole?
(3)
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😉

🐕🐩🐕🐩🐕🐩🐕🐩
"Dogs never bite me.
JUST HUMANS."
(3)
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