I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"You really should not have told me to dance like nobody's watching."
"Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same."
“Only when a mosquito lands
on your testicles...
...do you truly learn to solve
problems without violence."
“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.”
"It's bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips."
"Do you ever get that sudden outburst of motivation to go and make your life better, then after 5 minutes you're like... 'Yeah, that's not happening ;).'"
"Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons."
"Getting older is just one body part after another saying, 'Ha, ha, you think that's bad? Watch this.'"
"I really hate it when the voices in my head argue among themselves as though I wasn't even in the room."
"Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."
"The best things in life are free.
The second best are very expensive."
"Our generation will be the weirdest grandparents."
"I don't know why
people say such hurtful
things like... 'Let's go for
a run!' or 'Try this kale.'"
"Always trust your gut.
Your brain can be fooled
and your heart is an
idiot, but your gut
doesn't know how to lie."
"We interrupt your happiness to bring you Monday. Your regularly scheduled happiness will resume on Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience!"
"Just stop talking.
Whatever you have to
say can wait until
you're smarter."
"I've dealt with enough idiots for the day.
I need a nap."
😉 "When petting cats...
be sure not to activate their murder button."
and many, many refills...☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
I shall overcome Monday!!"
What Da Vinci should have painted...
"The Monday Lisa"
“A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.”
“Before you reach the top of the ladder, make sure it’s leaning against the right wall.”
"YOU CAN.
End of story."
"Want to hear a scary story?
Tomorrow's Monday."
"Long story short..........
I need 1 million dollars."
"I waved to a man because I thought he waved at me. Apparently he waved to another woman. So to get out of the awkward situation I kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over and drove me to the airport. I am now in Poland starting a new life."
"My to-do list from today seems to consist of everything from my to-do list yesterday."
X:
I'm so MAD at you!!!!! 😡🤯🤮🤮🤮🤮
Y:
But do you still love me?
X:
Yes!
Y:
Good.
If you are from Poland you are a Pole. Correct?
Does that mean if you are from Holland you are a Hole?
🐕🐩🐕🐩🐕🐩🐕🐩
"Dogs never bite me.
JUST HUMANS."