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Yeah! My DH keeps saying that he’s only doing it for the money, and it’s the Americans who love to read about it, hence the money. You’ve just proved to him that some have quite enough brains! Thanks, Margaret
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❤️🙂

X:
Would you like some tea?

Y:
No.

——

ANARCHY IN THE UK
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❤️🙂

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re talking about when you criticize me.”
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❤️🙂

“Think globally,
act locally,
panic internally.”
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❤️🙂

"X:
Are you coming to bed?

Y (busy typing on a computer):
I can’t. Someone is WRONG on the internet.”
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😉

“Don’t make the same mistakes
twice. Say NO to reincarnation.”
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😉 doormats that say:

“Not in a people mood.
Come back never.”


“Come back when you have tacos.”


“The neighbours have better stuff.”


“WELCOME
Beware of wife
kids are also shady
husband is cool”


“I’m Sick Of People Walking All Over Me”
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❤️🙂

"No quote can describe how AWESOME Friday is!"
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Three symptoms of laziness
#1
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I just found out you can tell the sex of an ant by putting them in water;
if it sinks - girl ant,
and if it floats - .......


(I have to admit it took me way too long to get this one)
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😉

"Find a man who strokes
your hair and says how
soft it is and doesn't
even care that it's on
your legs."
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😉

"Husband:
Good morning.

Me:
You need to calm down.”
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😉

"So this is my life — until I win the lottery."
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😉

"Look, you didn't ask me for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway."
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😉

 "I'm not crazy — I've just been in a very bad mood for 80 years."
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❤️🙂

"I love humankind... it's people I can't stand!!"
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💰💰💰💵💵💵🔑🔑🔑

"People say money is not the key to happiness, but if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
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❤️🙂 just a heads-up. bundle of joy here to keep you informed:

29,376,000 seconds (340 days) until xmas!
🎄🎄🎄
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❤️🙂

Written on a tombstone:
“I’ve reached step one to becoming a zombie”

Some people gathered around the tombstone. Someone says:

“He was always a strange sort of optimist.”

🙂
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😉

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, you’re probably just being realistic.”
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❤️🙂 avocados…

🥑:
“Not yet
not yet
not yet
not yet
eat me now
too late.”
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❤️🙂 comfort food...

🍔:
"There, there, it'll be all right."
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❤️🙂🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

“Website:
We use cookies to improve our performance.

Me:
Same.”
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🥰

“You’ve really gotta hand it to short people.


…Because we usually can’t reach it anyways.”
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😉

“I may shake things up today by being in a good mood.”
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🙄

“You tested positive for being negative.”
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❤️🙂

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

That entirely depends on the rest of the information you're about to give me.
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...a skeleton, sitting at a cafe, with an empty coffee mug:

"Don't mind me, I'm waiting for a narcissist to change and apologize and validate the pain they caused."
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🥰

Reminder:
In a world full of chaos, uncertainty and nonsense, there are still fresh cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪, new plans to make and wild dreams to chase.”
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❤️🙂☕️☕️☕️☕️ gooood morning!

“Me: Change is painful. But ultimately, it’s worth it if I’ve grown as a person.

Coffee: Why are you so dramatic? All you did was change from pajamas to clothes.

Me: Adulthood means making sacrifices.

Coffee: I think you need a refill.”
(1)
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