I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbours.”
“Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things."
“Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.”
“This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, “Honey, do this,” and “Honey, do that” around the house.”
“As the father of two young girls, I have come to the realization that they are just as messy as boys but the dirt that they create around the house is comprised of at least 50% glitter.”
“The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.”
“Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.”
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.'”
“You’ve heard of the three ages – youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.”
“My brain said salad but my stomach auto-corrects it to ice cream.”
“I know I don’t have to be sarcastic,
but the world has given me so much material to work with…
I would hate to be wasteful.”
“Life is a constant series of cleaning up the last mess.”
"Friend: What’s caregiving like?
Me: You know all the side-effects they list on prescription drug commercials? It’s like that.”
“It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong.”
“We’re all brave in our own way. For example, I’m not afraid to eat a cookie.”
“On this beautiful day be sure to take a break from crying at your desk to cry outside.”
"Stop making drama.
You are not Shakespeare."
"This person
is going crazy...
wanna come?"
“I have no time for stupid people,
but they sure have time for me.”
"Morning check:
Clothed? Yep.
Keys? Yep.
Coffee cup? Yep.
Sanity? Sanity?? And we have a runner."
"If you find a toilet in your dream, don't use it."
“A clean house
is the sign of a broken computer."
“I think I have the urge to clean the house. Waitttt...no. False alarm."
“When your bed is so comfy,
but you know you gotta get up and be awesome today.”
“Annnd poof! All my patience is gone…TA-DAAA!”
“What is love?
Baby don’t herd me.”
“Stop trying to fit in with the wrong herd. Find other black sheep to hang with.”
“Sometimes we crash and burn.
It’s better to do it in private.”
“I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater.
I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.”
“It’s comforting to know I can always count on not counting on you.”