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“I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring,
so I started talking to the shepherd instead.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

"I have four teenagers. I didn't get an epidural when I gave birth, but I'd like one now."
(1)
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❤️🙂 also a true story, and not a quote:

caregiving survival mode...activated.
(1)
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❤️🙂 also a true story, but it's a quote:

"Survive now,
cry later."
(2)
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❤️🙂 not a quote, because it's a true story:

surviving caregiving, one cookie at a time.
(1)
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i posted this a few hours ago...
i'm still just on coffee...i better hurry up with the list ❤️🙂.

"THINGS I NEED FOR TODAY:
-coffee
-personal space
-magical task-performing helpers
-5 more hours of sleep
-a notice congratulating me on winning the lottery
-more coffee
-negativity-repelling force field
-sparkling sense of humour 🙂

APPARENTLY, I'll be starting with coffee."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"You ever meet someone who is just the human form of crumbs in the bed?"
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Gonna need you to finish your story real quick so I can tell you how the same thing happened to me, but it's more interesting 'cause I'm in it."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Do you say 'excuse me' to your pet when you walk by them or are you rude?"
(4)
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❤️

"I can't believe I'm supposed to take care of my WHOLE body. It's too many moving parts. I can't keep up."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Due to personal reasons
I will not be holding myself accountable for my actions."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Due to personal reasons
I will be moving to the fantasy world in my head."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Due  to personal reasons
I will always overreact before thinking logically & rationally."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Due to personal reasons
I'm eating a lasagna in my shower."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Due to personal reasons
I need a cookie."
(1)
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❤️ ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️ goooood morning everyone!

"THINGS I NEED FOR TODAY:
-coffee
-personal space
-magical task-performing helpers
-5 more hours of sleep
-a notice congratulating me on winning the lottery
-more coffee
-negativity-repelling force field
-sparkling sense of humour 🙂

APPARENTLY, I'll be starting with coffee."
(1)
Report

🥰

"Some children threaten to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"It's OK if the only thing you did today was breathe."
(4)
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❤️😉

"Don't flatter - yourself - I only look up to you because I'm short."
(3)
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❤️

"YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.
(But only after you've totally freaked out about them. Once you've done that you should be fine.)"
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Cut off your dead ends for growth. And I'm not just talking about your hair."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"This drink will improve your dance moves."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"You look like I need a drink."
(1)
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❤️

"Hey this is just a very normal and serious text with no hidden meaning whatsoever."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Let's play a game called u bring me food and I eat it."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"If common sense
is common why are
you without it?"
(2)
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❤️🙂

The saddest question in the universe:
"Did you get my text?"
(2)
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🥰

"Our pointless conversations mean a lot to me."
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Currently fasting from people."
(2)
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