I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Famous Last Words:
“These mushrooms look just like the ones in the book.”
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Hold my beer and watch this.”
“Of course I checked if it was plugged in.”
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
“I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death.”
“I think it’s crazy that we have anger management, but we don’t have stupidity management!
I can’t be mad, but you get to be dumb. That’s very unfair!”
“I have decided I no longer want to improve myself.
I am a beautiful disaster.
And I accept myself as such.
So, bless this mess because I’m done being stressed.”
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
Act now.
Adopt a rescue wine.
Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom.
I’ll keep looking.
you know, i’ve been searching for a long time. today, that search is over.
male friend:
and now the search for a psychiatrist begins.
How can you believe God exists when you’ve never seen him?
stand-up comedian:
Well, I believe Home Depot employees exist.
There is hardship in everything except
eating pancakes.
I’m not too crazy about my relatives. Don’t you sometimes look at your relatives and think, “I can’t believe I’m related to these people!”
I give blood 4 times a year, just so I’m less and less related to these people.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.
If forums have taught us anything,
it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.
You don’t have to be a chef to know
which dish is best served cold!!!
If you wait until the last minute to do it, it only takes a minute to do.
Drinking can cause memory loss, or even worse, memory loss.
If you attempt to rob a bank, you will have no trouble with rent or bills for the next ten years, whether you are successful or not.
Trust dogs. They always know who to stay away from.
"You can’t eat just one cookie. It would get lonely. Be kind."
Here's a list of things I'd like to do today:
"A relationship is so damn cute in the beginning
then BOOM you got an attempted murder case."
"When you're fatigued because of your depression but can't sleep because of your anxiety."
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.