I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
I’m not stupid.
And sometimes I think
that’s part of the problem.
I wonder how she killed me this time.
Remind me to never, ever do that again.
When I get to work, I first hide.
Because a good worker is hard to find.
97% of my poor decisions
are food related.
I can already tell it’s going to be another one of those mornings where I’m not rich & famous.
Today was going great, until
people.
A wolf is struck with a curse: every full moon it turns into a human for one night.
is actually an insane asylum for the universe.
Classical conditioning.
Love letter from a statistician...
X's letter to Y: You're three standard deviations above the norm.
Y: Um...Thanks?
Na
You know too much psychology
when you can't get mad because
you understand everyone's
reason for doing everything.
You aren’t doing it wrong
…if no one knows what you’re doing.
If at first you don’t succeed,
try two more times
so that your failure is statistically significant.
No matter how popular they get…
antibiotics will never
go viral!
It's probably going to be a dog, but that's okay.
Ya know how sometimes, for whatever reason you need to pee, and you need to pee, now. 😂
I found it helps to sing the alphabet, while walking to the bathroom. Then I found, you need to get to the bathroom before you get to the letter P ! 😂
Famous Last Words:
“These mushrooms look just like the ones in the book.”
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Hold my beer and watch this.”
“Of course I checked if it was plugged in.”
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
“I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death.”
“I think it’s crazy that we have anger management, but we don’t have stupidity management!
I can’t be mad, but you get to be dumb. That’s very unfair!”
“I have decided I no longer want to improve myself.
I am a beautiful disaster.
And I accept myself as such.
So, bless this mess because I’m done being stressed.”
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
Act now.
Adopt a rescue wine.
Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom.
I’ll keep looking.
you know, i’ve been searching for a long time. today, that search is over.
male friend:
and now the search for a psychiatrist begins.
How can you believe God exists when you’ve never seen him?
stand-up comedian:
Well, I believe Home Depot employees exist.