I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It's impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking."
"I prefer to take life one panic attack at a time."
"Oh no!
I bought champagne
instead of milk...
again."
"Life is like a sandwich. You have to fill it with the best ingredients."
“BACK OFF. I've got enough to deal with today
without having to make your - death - look like an accident."
“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
🙂
Never mind, it's too cheesy."
“If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other."
"Shhhh...
I'm hiding from stupid people."
“If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her."
“Me: I need some help here!
Also Me: No, not like that…Here, I’ll do it.”
“Life has been good to me, but people not so much.”
So the joke about my cooking became, brown it's cooking, black it's done :-).
I learned to cook but, I still get teased about BIC/BID.
"I'm always being forced to do things that I'm not qualified for, like being nice to others."
"I just burned 3,000 calories. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven."
“Boy:
Kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute. Wanna work out?
Girl:
Are you saying I'm fat?"
"I'm getting real sick and tired of food having calories."
“My room is - not - dirty. I just have everything on display. Like a museum.”
“I’m confused.
No wait…
Maybe I’m not.”
but of course you can’t know where i am. and i myself am very confused where i am.
by the way, the day i got the days mixed up, i had been travelling by plane recently, so i got all confused.
❤️🙂 wellll, here’s more about confusion:
my life has a superb cat, i mean cast, but I can’t figure out the plot…
🐈
It is 2:44:00 am AEST
Tuesday, January 10, 2023
in Brisbane Australia.
But I agree, it is Monday today, in most places in the U.S. 🇺🇸
"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy."
"I wish I were a unicorn so I could stab idiots with my head."
"I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time."
"Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger, anxiety and a serious dislike for stupid people."
"Brains are awesome! Wish everybody had one."
anywayyy, it's time for?...donut stress...
"Donuts made me do it."
"The only circle of trust you should have is a donut."
"Donut stop me now."
"Donuts. An excuse to eat cake for breakfast."
🥰 "Are you a donut? Because I find you aDOUGHrable."
❤️🙂
"I run because I like donuts..."
"To die will be an
awfully long adventure."
"If over-thinking situations burned calories, I'd be dead."
"Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now on I'm going to concentrate on getting taller."