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"What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?

It's impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking."
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❤️🙂

"I prefer to take life one panic attack at a time."
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❤️🙂

"Oh no!
I bought champagne
instead of milk...
again."
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❤️🙂

"Life is like a sandwich. You have to fill it with the best ingredients."
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❤️🙂

“BACK OFF. I've got enough to deal with today
without having to make your - death - look like an accident."
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🍕🍕🍕🍕🙂

“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
🙂
Never mind, it's too cheesy."
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😉

“If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other."
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🙄

"Shhhh...
I'm hiding from stupid people."
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😉

“If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her."
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❤️🙂

“Me: I need some help here!

Also Me: No, not like that…Here, I’ll do it.”
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😉

“Life has been good to me, but people not so much.”
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Boj, I cracked up about the frozen pizza. When I first was married burning a frozen pizza or anything else happened quite frequently. I was a career woman and didn't cook, clean or do laundry, I went out, sent out or hired it done.

So the joke about my cooking became, brown it's cooking, black it's done :-).

I learned to cook but, I still get teased about BIC/BID.
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❤️

"I'm always being forced to do things that I'm not qualified for, like being nice to others."
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🙂

"I just burned 3,000 calories. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven."
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❤️

“Boy:
Kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute. Wanna work out?

Girl:
Are you saying I'm fat?"
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❤️🙂

"I'm getting real sick and tired of food having calories."
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❤️

“My room is - not - dirty. I just have everything on display. Like a museum.”
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❤️🙂

“I’m confused.
No wait…
Maybe I’m not.”
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hugs, sendhelp! i meant, what day is it where i am…

but of course you can’t know where i am. and i myself am very confused where i am.

by the way, the day i got the days mixed up, i had been travelling by plane recently, so i got all confused.

❤️🙂 wellll, here’s more about confusion:

my life has a superb cat, i mean cast, but I can’t figure out the plot…
🐈
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BOJ,
It is 2:44:00 am AEST
Tuesday, January 10, 2023
in Brisbane Australia.

But I agree, it is Monday today, in most places in the U.S. 🇺🇸
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❤️🙂

"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy."
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❤️🙂

"I wish I were a unicorn so I could stab idiots with my head."
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😉

"I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time."
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😉

"Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger, anxiety and a serious dislike for stupid people."
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❤️🙂

"Brains are awesome! Wish everybody had one."
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😉 have a GREAT monday everyone! (it IS monday, sendhelp, right? now i just donut know...after almost celebrating new year's eve 1 day in advance. haha. seriously imagine, bundle of joy outside, freezing in the snow, waiting for fireworks that never show up...) (i was really confused why no one in town was as excited as me on 30 december.) (luckily a friend noticed my mistake on the phone, in the afternoon 30 december). 😉

anywayyy, it's time for?...donut stress...

"Donuts made me do it."

"The only circle of trust you should have is a donut."

"Donut stop me now."

"Donuts. An excuse to eat cake for breakfast."

🥰 "Are you a donut? Because I find you aDOUGHrable."

❤️🙂
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❤️🙂

"I run because I like donuts..."
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😉

"To die will be an
awfully long adventure."
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❤️🙂

"If over-thinking situations burned calories, I'd be dead."
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🙂

"Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now on I'm going to concentrate on getting taller."
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