I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“Imagination (noun). The poor people’s Netflix.”
“I’m not anti-social. I’m anti-idiot.”
“I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.”
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.”
"A serious business meeting. Everyone around the table is formally dressed. And Santa Claus with a big, jolly smile, is at the table, too.
Moderator:
Well, I like to have on our team someone who obsessively chats about Xmas."
"NICE LIST dropout."
"Cat wait for Xmas!!"
🙂
🐈
"I swear, the 🎄 tree started first."
🐈🐈🍺🍺
“The same two cats talking in a bar, while drinking their beers.
Cat:
I always give them a few days to enjoy the tree before I destroy it.
Other cat:
Me too. It’s the season of giving.”
🐈🐈☕️☕️
“Two cats talking in a cafe, while sipping their coffee.
Cat:
I’m wayyyy behind schedule. There are boxes to sit in, wrapping paper to lie on…I haven’t even knocked down the tree yet!
Other cat:
The holidays are so stressful.”
"Therapist, taking notes.
Santa lying on a sofa:
When I was a kid, my parents told me I didn't exist."
Santa, with a child on his lap.
Santa points at the sofa nearby, saying, "After you're done telling me what you wish for Xmas, why don't you lie down over there and tell me why you think you need all those things."
Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.
"Santa lying on a sofa.
Therapist, taking notes:
So in all your relationships, you have always been the giver?"
😇😉 "Being related to me is really the ONLY gift you need."
🙄 “I see you haven’t started your xmas shopping yet. I also like to live dangerously.”
“Stages of Xmas shopping:
1. Plenty of time
2. Oh no”
“Brace yourselves. Last-minute Xmas shoppers are coming.”
🙄 “I could do my Xmas shopping now. But then what what would I do on Xmas Eve?”
“Dear Santa Paws,
Pretty please with a cherry on top, take the cat.
Xoxo,
Anonymous
🐾
Oh and please leave a bone, a few balls, some sticks, a frisbee, a warm blanket and a sizzling steak. Woof!
Emmm, I mean thank you.”
🐕🐕🐕
“Dear Santa Paws,
The cat ate your cookies and drank your milk. I’m a good dog.”
“A woman explaining to her female friend:
I feel I’m losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him.”
“An angry woman explaining to her female friend:
Just as he was starting to see things from my point of view, he was declared mentally incompetent.”
“Therapist taking notes, in the armchair.
A parking meter ticket is lying on the sofa:
I dunno, doc, I guess I’m just always waiting for someone ELSE to validate me.”
“Patient:
Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?
Therapist, taking notes, writes, “Yikes.””
“An elderly woman is forced outside by a “book club bouncer”, a large, muscular man with dark sunglasses.
The other elderly women are still in the living room, sitting in a circle with their books open.
The moderator says, “Anyone else think the movie was better?””
“Therapist to patient:
If you don’t want to talk about your mother, do you mind if we talk about mine?”
🐕🐕🐕
“Merry Woofmas!”
🐕🐕🐕
“Dear Santa Paws,
Please oh please grant me my wish - to be a spoiled dog again.
Wishing & hoping,
Doggie”
🐕🐕🐕
“All guests must be approved by the dog.”
🐕🐕🐕
“It’s a wonderfur life.”